Project Runway Recap: Bride's Dress Revisited

Wedding challenges dot Project Runway's history with some special moments -- some you even want to remember. Last night's divorce-oriented challenge was an undeniable delight, marked by insane self-absorption, delusion, and the ascent of a mythological vulture god named Gordana. Revisit the parade of Polyester Brides (credit: Liz Phair) after the jump!

Before the nine remaining designers scamper to the workroom to learn about the episode's challenge, Irina has a few things to say about modesty, building relationships, eating, praying, and loving.

"The other designers hate that I win so much. I would too, if I were a born-and-bred loser, like these folks. It's a case of T.P.B., Typical Proletariat Behavior. I've won two challenges, and some of these people haven't even been in the Top 3. Laughing! I'm laughing, which always hurts. To make a metaphor totally unrelated to the bleak Victorian parlor room drama in my mind, these people cannot just chop down their loser-built Cherry Orchard and move on with their lives. Unrelated: I was the lead in Gisele four years in a row. They kept saying something about how I was gorgeous and talented. Teehee! Who knew? Well, I did, see. That's why I keep winning, even today."

On the runway, Heidi decides to regale us with more than her usual batch of ten to fifteen mystery words. In fact, she explains the entire challenge in startling detail! This is exactly what the world felt like when Vanna Speaks came out.

"Designers," she says. "Let's bring out your new models. Oh, my! Look at them! They are older, average-weight women. A real P.T. Barnum spectacle. You have to turn their old wedding dress into something hot and hip and now, because they are frisky divorcees looking to get laid. Some of these women have bigger wedding dresses with more material to work with, and that's because Project Runway is boring when it's about fairness."

The minute that Heidi introduces the challenge, I cringe that the concept is a repeat prompt from a prior season. Luckily, I'm only partly correct -- this challenge replicated a terrific episode of the phenomenal Project Runway Canada, starring my first sorceress bride Iman. But you probably didn't know that. And, after all, this recap is about you.

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