Project Runway Recap: Blue Suede Snooze

-Louise and the immunity-boasting Nicolas are eviscerated for their basic sky-blue dress overflowing with navy ruffles and their ruffly, tight midnight blue frock. Michael Kors is already bitchier than social scientists have ever predicted possible. "This truly looks like a bridesmaid's dress with a shower Luffa ruching up the front of it. No modern girl wants to wear it." I will not pretend I can improve upon that.

-Carol Hannah and Shirin land among the top two teams for their clean, super blue dresses. One of them has a curlicue-bedazzled neckline. That means innovation in this challenge.

-Christopher starts bawling immediately when Michael Kors unleashes the following diatribe: "It looks like a librarian's shirtdress from 1979. The fabric has a shine, and I guess you thought that was a twist. I actually think it looks like a tablecloth. I swap over, get to this teal disco charmeuse disco pumpkin. Did you really think they went together? They don't." How did we watch this show without Michael? How?

-Irina and Gordana score the other lauded pair of designs. A striped, diaphanous number (composed entirely by Irina) wins the real praise. Gordana remains excited, however, and in the corner of a few frames we see her close her eyes and pretend to ski into the sun.

In the end, Irina wins her second challenge, and Louise and Christopher comprise the bottom two. Christopher is crying so hard that Heidi Klum can barely mutter maternal tirades loud enough for production. In haste, she eliminates Louise, who has been disappointing for several challenges in a row.

Tune in next week for more color-themed drama and perhaps the reappearance of Nina Garcia. Now that Michael Kors is back, Nina likely feels evil enough for public consumption again. Otherwise, the era of Project Runway blue balls continues, and without a horrible challenge to commemorate the versatility of our unhealthy testicular hue.

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