On TV: Dating in the Dark

When a network uses the phrase "social experiment" to describe a new reality television program, that usually means the show is either too boring or too safe to get descriptors like "hot" or "sizzling" or "scandalous" applied to it. Sadly, ABC's new "romantic reality" series Dating in the Dark is both boring and safe, which might make for a good husband, but not a dating show. This is the first of six episodes of DitD, and unless the future participants get uglier and/or prettier, this might turn out to be one of the least interesting mid-summer replacements in recent reality memory.

Before I write about what Dating in the Dark is, let me tell you what it is not. First, it's not a competition. There are no financial incentives or rewards, no one gets voted off, and there are no challenges that result in more face time with a potential romantic partner. Additionally, it's not a feel-good reality romp like Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. The producers do not take burn victims or individuals who have had trouble dating due to their looks and allow their personalities to do the wooing. Rather, this is just as it is titled: strangers (three men and three women) meet, talk and touch in the dark and eventually have their physical appearances revealed.

This is not to say that the suitors and suitorettes are completely in the dark about their prospective mates. Networks are especially touchy about critics revealing major plot points of reality shows, so I will just say that there are senses other than vision that are useful in determining compatibility. With the men and women completely sequestered on opposite sides of a house, the perspective shifts between the guys and girls talking amongst themselves and the actual dates in a completely dark room. Low-light camera technology has improved greatly since 1 Night in Paris, so the scenes in darkness actually look somewhat artsy but the central problem with DitD is the casting. No one is all that beautiful or gross-looking. It seems like a crass statement, but everyone they chose for the first episode at least meets the minimum doable level for society. For the big reveals (and the show) to be significantly entertaining, the response should be revulsion or jubilation, and that comes from casting. Playing for the middle in reality television only gives mediocre results.

This might sound hyperbolic, but the lack of any semblance of romantic tension or enjoyment on Dating in the Dark made me crave the stilted overproduction of The Bachelorette. A better idea might be Human Resources in the Dark, where racist HR managers interview prospective employees with no way to tell the race of the applicants. Secrets would be revealed and bigotry would be exposed (or conquered). At least there would be a goal with that "social experiment." The main aspiration of Dating in the Dark is to catch ordinary people being shallow, which turns out to be the easiest thing in the world.