Movieline QuickPilot Challenge: Help Whip Up A Padma Lakshmi Sitcom

This morning, Variety brings the happy news that Top Chef hostess Padma Lakshmi, the glassy-eyed, munchie-afflicted judging table wingwoman to Craft superstar Tom Colicchio, has signed a development deal with NBC in hopes of producing a sitcom set in "the culinary world." And yes, we also see the Cajun, Bam!-farting elephant in the room; it's impossible to think "NBC" and "popular cooking show host" without the short-lived, but profoundly terrible, Emeril flash-frying the pleasure centers of your brain into permanent anhedonia. To assist the network in its quest to develop a proper starring vehicle for Lakshmi, we've set up the Movieline QuickPilot Challenge: with just $300 in your development budget, you, the proud Peacock creative exec, must carefully select the proper items from the NBC Whole Sitcom Foods and deliver the most delicious show possible. Go!

Appetizer Bar: The Title

· Padma ($0)

A freebie, due to zero development time brainstorming an actual title. "It's about Padma, she's a huge star, so how about just Padma? Bam, we have a title." "Never say 'bam' around here. Ever." "Oh, right."

· Single Serving ($15)

An actual title being considered, as per the Variety report. As such, we'll offer it at a discount, but be aware that this one immediately conjures the parody of an NBC cooking-related sitcom that Judd Apatow may be working into his next movie. (Which would also probably star Padma Lakshmi and be called Yo, Chef!)

· Pack Your Knives ($10)

NBC will need to convince sister-network Bravo to lend the Top Chef dismissal catchphrase to their project, but that shouldn't be too difficult.

· Life Sous Vide ($25)

Too foreign, will not test well.

· A Moveable Feast ($20)

Too literary, will not test well, but may capture the intellectual foodie imagination. Caution: AMC may already have a drama with the same name in development.

Pots & Pans: The Production

· Half-hour, multicamera ($25)

· Half-hour, single-camera ($50)

· One hour, single camera dramedy ($75)

Main Ingredients: The Premise

· "As her marriage to a much-older literary giant finally succumbs to the inevitable pressures of their age difference, a supermodel-turned-cookbook author finds unexpected stardom as the host of a basic-cable cooking show." ($20)

[Note: Repurposing the star's biography carries a heavy development discount, but beware: If Padma fans want to see her actual life story play out, they can just watch Top Chef and monitor Us Weekly.]

· "Busy swimwear-designer-cum-fast-food-restaurateur Paddie Larson tries to juggle the responsibilities of both of her hugely successful businesses. Each week, a different hot friend (The Hills' Audrina Patridge, NBC crossover guest-stars like Chuck's Yvonne Strahovski or 30 Rock's Katrina Bowden) come over to model Paddie's latest bikini design while messily taste-testing her new burger concepts. Presented by Carl's Jr." ($10, as production costs shared with the advertainment partner.)

· "Harried single mom Padma Lakshmi looks for love while toiling on the line for an acerbic executive chef at Los Angeles' highest-rated restaurant." ($25)

· "Winning entry of NBC.com contest to develop the Padma sitcom concept." ($5, plus set of Wüsthof knives and duffel bag full of Top Chef gear for online winner from Wisconsin.)

Line Cooks: The Co-Stars

· Tom Colicchio ($75)

Probably already turned down a sitcom offer.

· Toby Young ($20)

Forced-bon-mot-spewing Top Chef sidekick would probably sign on at a very reasonable price.

· Lisa Kudrow ($100)

Involvement of a star hearkening back to NBC's Must See TV glory days will not come cheap.

· Marc Feuerstein ($15)

Despite currently starring in his own show on USA, must at least be brought up in every TV meeting, as per his million-year development deal with Satan himself.

· Salman Rushdie ($150)

Lakshmi's ex can probably be signed only at a prohibitive premium, but the possibility of guest-star/cameo appearances can be explored, especially if his new novel, The Deaf-Mute's Song is released during the TV season.

Garnish: Taglines

· "Things are getting hot in this kitchen." ($10)

· "Pack your knives and go...to NBC Tuesday nights, at 9 pm/ 8 Central!" ($15)

· "Danger: Hot and Spicy" ($5)

· "If you can't stand the heat, stay out of Padma's kitchen!" ($20)

· "Eat her." ($30, online viral campaign only)

Checkout: The Episode Order

· Thirteen, Fall 2010 ($50)

· Six, Midseason 2011 ($25)

· Six, rushed into production for Summer 2010 schedule-spackle, possible pairing with overeating-related reality programming ($15)

Padma Lakshmi could heat up sitcom [Variety]