Which Male Film Critics Lust Most for Emma Watson?
Perhaps befitting a series that's seen a hormonal jolt added to its latest installment, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is causing film critics to wax rhapsodic...about what a hottie Emma Watson has turned into. Sure, there were signs of this bubbling up two years ago upon the release of Order of the Phoenix, but now she's 19! With critical tumescence having reached a fevered pitch, we thought it time to take a look at three of the most notable types of Watson crushes in print (we're not even dealing with the fanboy sites, because who knows what poor, sexy Hermione comes in for there).
Keeping It Profesh
Todd McCarthy, Variety: "Emma Watson, perennially appealing as Hermione, has become a very attractive young woman."
Analysis: OK, that's fair -- McCarthy includes this summation in an analysis of the child actors' physical changes. Still, only Watson and Bonnie Wright ("the sort of initial plain Jane who keeps growing on you") have their transformations run through a lens of sexual attraction. Why did Daniel Radcliffe escape such scrutiny? I demand to know what McCarthy thinks of short men.
Taking it To a Weird Place
David Edelstein, New York: "Emma Watson's Hermione has turned out disappointingly. It's not Watson's fault she grew up so pretty, so poised, with such luscious tresses."
Analysis: Nor is it Edelstein's fault that such an observation reads like Of Mice and Men's Lennie was trying to describe an Herbal Essences commercial.
Flat-Out Admitting It
Tom Long, Detroit News: "Ron himself is now the secret object of affection for gal pal Hermione (Emma Watson), although he soon has a clingy girlfriend who mucks things up. All of this is a bit problematic in the film since -- she's 19 now and it's OK to say it -- Emma Watson is somewhat majorly hot, and neither Ron nor his girlfriend come close. Oh, well, how could the casting directors have known all those years ago?"
Analysis: Watson was actually 17 when she shot most of Half-Blood Prince. Sorry, Tom Long, you have stumbled into the most elaborate and unfair Dateline NBC sting ever.
Anyway, fun! I can't wait for a few years from now, when reviews of Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Hoped-For Fifth Installment will grind to a halt for paragraph-long dissertations on how bangable Logan Lerman has become. Haha that will never happen, he's a dude.
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Comments
It's Natalie Portman all over again.
now with more forehead!
I remember reading a Roger Ebert review of a previous potter film (can't recall which one and too lazy to look it up), but there was definitely a mention made of this young actress' impending sexiness. I thought it strange back then. I guess the other critics were just hesitant to say what they were really thinking.
Why did Daniel Radcliffe escape such scrutiny?
Err... where have you been? He's been posing half naked on womens' magazine covers for quite a while now!
That's a start, but for parity, we really need some column inches from Manohla Dargis on Radcliffe's hirsute chest.
Wow, you mean men are sexually attracted to young, pretty females? Someone call CNN!
Emma's gorgeous, but I think her acting kind of overshadows that. She's the perfect Hermione and definitely believeable as the nerdy, intelligent, strict rule follower. Plush Hermione isn't supposed to be a plain Jane. She attracts the attention of world famous Quidditch player Victor Krum and Cormac MacLaggen. Harry and Ron just take a long time to notice because she's their friend and Hermione is more interested in books that doing her hair and makeup.
Is that picture of Emma up there recent? Because she looks about 12 years old there, and with the content of this piece that's a little disconcerting.
So men can't even admit that a 17-year old is hot? I'm all for keeping men from hitting on minors, but to freak out because a man even notices the beauty of a teenager is taking it way too far.
But, Your Honor, I swear she told me she was 19.
Maybe you need to get out more, Lowbrow. She doesn't look anywhere near 12 in that picture.
P.S. Quit hanging around middle schools.
I love the analogy of Edelstein's weirdo comments, it made me chuckle.
I had Emma Watson up as wallpaper on my PC in 2001 or 2002. I was in college and got some flack from a suitemate, but who's laughing now?
"paragraph-long dissertations on how bangable Logan Lerman has become. Haha that will never happen, he’s a dude." You seem never to have heard of Zac Efron, or talked to ladies of various ages about his attributes. Or Robert Pattison for that matter. I've seen more than a few wet-knicker reviews of their appearances.
I thought she was beautiful years ago. So what? What separates normal people from pervs is when you hear a young gal talk, and it so quickly becomes obvious she is just a child. But I don't see anything wrong in acknowledging beauty. When Tom Long asks, "Oh, well, how could the casting directors have known all those years ago?" it shows he has no business being a movie reviewer. Many people knew. I don't see the shame in admitting it. Anyway, seeing beauty in a young person is something that photographers have done for years. It's when you turn that beauty into sexuality that things get weird.
I've had a crush on Emma Watson for years. Still do. I am somewhat close to the same age, so it is not that bad to admit it. She is going to have a very strong future if she pursues acting after the Potter films. I know she has done a bit outside of Potter and was very good. She can have my number anytime. I can dream.
IT's like they're scared to say she's pretty. She IS legal now. It's okay. But I hope they also managed to focus some of their attention on the other actors and maybe some on Emma's acting instead of just her looks. She's a really talented actress and she really got to show that more in this film. I would love to see her do a romantic drama. I think she would be brilliant in a film like that.