Vatican Approves of Sexually Frustrated Harry Potter Kids

The Catholic Church appears to have come around quite a bit in its perception of the Harry Potter franchise, whose wizards, magic and other dabblings in the occult had tweaked the Vatican since the early days of J.K. Rowling's original novels. Yet while the spells and dark arts are all still there, at least there's that whole Hogwarts School of Blue-Balls element that pleases church leaders greatly.

Of course, good valiantly battles evil as well, and the sufferings of several key characters lend noble underpinnings to their sacrifices. But there's really no more agonizing sacrifice than the sexual frustration encountered by virtually all the wizards- and witches-in-training, which the Vatican house organ L'Osservatore Romano says reflects the "correct balance" of hormonal repression. Even the teachers keeps their hands off the kids! The milestones never end.

· Vatican praises Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince [The Guardian]