Alec Baldwin to Jack Cafferty: 'How Dare You Insult My NYU Drama Degree, Bike-Murderer?!'

Alec Baldwin has pledged to retire from acting at the "the 30 Rock wrap party," he recently told Playboy, in the very same interview where he dangled prospects of running against party turncoat and general Jewish Disappointment™ Joe Lieberman in the Connecticut Senate race. And that would be perfectly lovely: We'd like nothing more than to turn on CNN and see Baldwin in a Griswold diner surrounded by locals proudly wearing "I ♥ A SMART ALEC" buttons, to whom he imparts nuggets of folksy, Donaghy-esque wisdom, like, "America, I would like to teach you something. I would like to be Michelle Pfeiffer to your angry black kid who learns that poetry is just another way to rap."

In a recent Huffington Post essay, however -- after he offered up congratulations to Al Franken for his long-overdue victory in the Minnesota Senate race, and offered thoughts about the recent passing of Robert McNamara, whom he portrayed in Path to War -- Baldwin flatly refuted any plans to run against Lieberman. "Running for public office involves among the most sacred trusts that one can enter into," he wrote. "And I would like to give that a lot of serious thought before I decide if that is right for me and the voters I would potentially serve."

Which isn't to say, mind you, that he thinks himself remotely unqualified, or lacking in any way the killer instinct and rhinocerous skin necessary to enter the barbarous political thunderdome. In another HuffPo piece today, he takes on CNN commentator Jack Cafferty, who openly questioned his credentials:

After decrying the notion of "actors and comedians" running for public office, Cafferty stated, "Baldwin's credentials are questionable... but Franken is no slouch. He's Harvard educated."

But, now that I think about what Cafferty has on his mind, maybe it's a lousy idea. Heck, I only have a BFA in drama from NYU. Perhaps New York University should print on its undergraduate drama degrees "Warning: the bestowing of this degree precludes you from seeking any public office per Jack Cafferty of CNN."

I would like to make a deal with Cafferty. Jack, you don't tell people that a career in the performing arts disqualifies them from seeking elected office, and I won't say publicly that your being convicted of leaving the scene of an accident in which you struck a cyclist and then ran two red lights while you were pursued by the police and were subsequently ordered to serve 70 hours of community service back in May of 2003 disqualifies you from posing as a "Man of the People" on a major cable news network...Fair enough?

We'll pause now to allow for a requisite seven-second, deathly awkward silence to settle in the room like particularly caustic fart, taking whatever comforts we can in the fact that he resisted labeling the incident a "hit-and-thoughtlessly-little-piggish-run." Baldwin '010!

· On Al Franken, Robert McNamara, and Running Against Joe Lieberman [HuffPo]

· Man of the People [HuffPo]