Lucky Ticket Holders Win Rare Tour of Michael Jackson's Magical Propofol Factory

If you entered the online lottery to win tickets to Michael Jackson's memorial service at Staples Center tomorrow, you've most likely received one of these e-mailed notifications of regret. Otherwise -- congratulations! You are one of the few to earn precious access to the momentous ceremony, joining such other fortuitous mourners as Espen Eckbo and Stein Johan Grieg Halvorsen of Norway (top left), Dont'e Zierway of Buffalo, N.Y. (lower right), and Augustus Gloop of Düsselheim, Germany (upper right), who breathlessly told us of how we was once banned for life from The Marzipan Museum in Szentendre, Hungary for attempting to devour their life-sized Jackson sculpture made entirely of white chocolate.

Once past the severely guarded L.A. Live perimeter (security has been ordered to shoot anyone on sight not sporting the all-access wristbands) and inside, they'll surely be dazzled by the deathly delights on display. With an army of cloned Culkin-Loompahs as their tiny guides, they'll tour the nut-sorting room (where they'll be instructed on how to tell the various surviving Jackson family members apart), the Bubbles Room (where they'll sample a wide menu of chimpanzee-flavored soft drinks), and finally each be granted a delicious, Everlasting Nosestopper -- the nose-shaped confectionary wonder that grows increasingly smaller without ever completely disappearing -- as their special parting gift. Let the fun begin!

· Jackson memorial ticket winners line up at Dodger Stadium [LA Times]