World Turns on Susan Boyle for Beating Adam Lambert

A little over a month ago, unkempt, unkissed Susan Boyle captivated the entire world (sans Movieline) with her technically proficient rendition of a song no one ever wants to hear again on the reality competition Britain's Got Talent. Since then, Boyle has committed the flagrant sin of continuing to exist, thereby encroaching on everyone's impeccably edited, seven-minute YouTube vision of the singer. You can't have come from out of nowhere if we already know you, Susie!

Her latest offense? A return to the Britain's Got Talent set to belt "Memory" from Cats (clever, since our memory of Boyle is as the ultimate cat lady), where she showcased an emotional stage presence that positively screamed, "I must remain standing on this X they marked off with masking tape."

Though Simon Cowell and his fellow judges greeted Boyle with a standing ovation, reaction across the internet was underwhelming. MTV called the performance "shaky," it was blasted by professional newsmaker Lily Allen, and the silence from Demi Moore's Twitter? Well, it spoke volumes.

Has the backlash against Boyle begun in earnest? Perhaps her former admirers have realized that once her backstory recedes into the distance, Boyle is merely a good singer who's unlikely to pull out a stirring, Lambertian rendition of "Mad World," instead favoring an unwelcome excavation of Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On," which a beleaguered America sealed in a time capsule in 1999 (until it was dug up by Nicolas Cage in this year's Knowing). Susan Boyle, you taught us all a lesson about how appearances can be deceiving, and how that can be someone's shtick for about a month. Rest in peace, you bushy-browed angel.