We Are the Champions

Movieline spanned the globe this week, from the sun-drenched French Riviera to the crumb-dappled rec rooms of despondent Idol viewers across America. Join us in looking back, and enjoy the holiday weekend. We'll see you Tuesday!

· After all the analysis was said and done, Kris Allen shocked America to win American Idol. This calls for more analysis. And maybe some reaction videos.

· David Bourgeois, Movieline's "mannes in Cannes," hit the Croisette hard. Among his finds: Ang Lee's press conference. Mariah Carey's cleavage. Pedro Almodovar's tongue. Quentin Tarantino's savior. And Michael Haneke's Palme d'Or favorite The White Ribbon.

· All hell literally broke loose when Lars von Trier -- a/k/a the Spencer Pratt of cinema -- uncorked Antichrist at Cannes. We surveyed the film's distribution chances (accurately), and found a few clips to hold us over until the bloodbath reaches the States.

· Meanwhile, Antichrist's Willem Dafoe, director Stephan Elliott, Glee co-star Jessalyn Gilsig and Dance Flick leading lady Shoshana Bush all paid us a visit.

· Would someone please send this week's One-Page Screenplay to Megan Fox's agent? Thanks!

· Sherlock Holmes, Paris, Not France, G-Force and the fine-looking Jesse Metcalfe number Beyond a Reasonable Doubt all received Two-Minute Verdicts.

· Upfronts week! We caught up with CBS, ABC and FOX, the CW, and all the shows the networks screwed. Better luck next time, gang.

· Nine of Angels & Demons most brutal cardinal murders might have been left on the cutting room floor, but that didn't keep the film from enshrinement among Bad Movies We Love.

· Did you hear the one about the teenage girls stripping and injuring themselves on MTV? We only wish we were joking.