Paris, Not France Not Interesting
Stop us if you've heard this one before: Paris Hilton isn't actually an airhead -- in reality, she's a savvy businesswoman in charge of her own brand! This is a true fact, if by "savvy businesswoman," one means, "stumbles into meeting hungover, texts up a storm while marketing team presents business plan they worked so hard on, gives dismissive wave of her hand when someone gently asks, 'Paris, your thoughts?' and finally answers, 'Hmm? Uh, OK. Whatever. Lovesit.'" Now, finally we have a trailer for Paris, Not France, the dumbly controversial documentary that purports to set the record straight on what it's like to be Hilton.
Answer: It is like being an idiot. Under the watchful eye of director Adria Petty (Tom Petty's daughter), Hilton does the things we already know she does, like attend premieres and get photographed -- this time, though, in arty black and white! Meanwhile, Hilton attempts candor yet struggles with her total lack of things to say. Repeatedly, the heiress insists that the image people have of her is false, but when prompted to correct it, she responds, "Whatever." The only shocking reveal in the trailer is that Hilton does in fact dress her dog in a ridiculous doily sweater for business meetings, and I'm pretty sure that if I'd spent over a minute pondering her enigma, I could have guessed that.
So, if you're in the market to watch a 68-minute documentary that plays like a compilation of deleted scenes from S1m0ne, you're in luck -- MTV has bought the film and will air it sometime this year in a bid to hasten its irrelevancy provide empowering messages for women. Enjoy:
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Comments
They couldn't piece together enough footage to make a story long enough for the trailer? People are supposed to sit for over an hour watching lights flashing around a blonde sliver of a woman looking downward and saying "I dunno know"? At least Farrah has an excuse.
Truth or Airhead
Didn't she make all these points in that bullshit Larry King interview?
You know the one great thing about the Econocalypse is that people have seemed to stop giving a crap what dribbles out of her mouth. I actually think I prefer the world this way.
Adria should have instead filmed a documentary on Paris' vagina, and titled it Into The Great Wide Open.
Gash, Not the Flesh Wound
Isn't it awful? Poor little Gloria. Poor Brenda Frazier.
They ruined them. They ate them alive!
What about Slim Keith? That Guggenheim girl?
Imposters! Leave me alone.
It's interesting after watching Grey Gardens ... to see this debutante enforcing her rules on the fame that she craves. I'm not saying it's good, but it is interesting.
One word, "Huge."
For the record, she kept me locked in the basement as a child and would dress me in doily sweaters. She finally let me out when I appeared in that sex tape. (Yep, that was me, not her.) Now, I am Evil but not so Evil as Lars von Trier.