You Know You've Been in the Business Too Long When Kiefer Sutherland Headbutting a Fashion Designer For Your Honor Doesn't Faze You

Hmm, The View. I vaguely remember this program. Let's see...there's a passive-aggressive old journalist lady, a woman with red hair, a blonde who reads talking points while dressed in a pirate blouse, a somewhat nicer idiot who's on 30 Rock a lot, and an Oscar winner whose bucket list contains only one item: "Wear every piece of Ed Hardy clothing before I die." It's all coming back / it's coming back to me no-ow.

Anyway! These somewhat familiar women hosted Brooke Shields on their show today, and of course, they had to know all about the Kiefer headbutt Shields had served as muse to.

Barbara Walters began by implying that Shields was in the wrong place at the wrong time, but the actress begged to differ. Being in a nightclub at 2am as one friend attacked another friend was hip as hell, she asserted. In fact, Shields is now willing to take appearance fees to that effect -- for a mere $10,000, the Blue Lagoon actress will arrive at your club with an unnecessarily aggressive Nestor Carbonell and the guy with the abs from Lipstick Jungle.

Walters pressed on: surely, though, Shields was a little dismayed by what happened? "I'm never shocked anymore by anything that happens," said Shields. That's right, she was just stone-cold chilling the whole time that Kiefer Sutherland headbutted her friend and broke his nose, which is misdemeanor assault. Either Brooke's gunning for a slot as Kiefer's unflappable CTU partner on the next season of 24, or that Lipstick cancellation hit her a lot harder than we all thought.