The Briefcases Beckon

In a world where no one is getting rich and dowdy YouTube virtuosos are getting gigs, it's high time for primetime game shows to give Americans hope again: The hope that they could strategize their way through a series of mathematical probabilities and dollar amounts and receive the ultimate fist bump.

Deal or No Deal [8 PM, NBC]

NBC brings back Deal or No Deal for sweeps following last week's Chuck finale. With DoND moving to Stamford, CT, look for the TMZ sightings of drunk briefcase models to have a more seafaring theme, as they sloppily discuss their co-stars in front of Summer Street Lobster House. On tonight's show, Midwestern farmer Diane Jorgenson finishes her game from three months ago (they've already scattered the ashes of whoever was hanging off that cliff) and a musician competes for $1 million. DVR Big Bang Theory and have some populist fun.

The Hills [10 PM, MTV]

The previews guarantee no lack of drama, as Lauren, Lo, Audrina, Stephanie, Brody and his hangers-on return from Hawaii. Brody's girlfriend reacts to the news that he hooked up with Audrina on his man-cation. Meanwhile, Heidi confronts the bartender who's been flirting with Spencer again. We have given this show a lot of chances, but if this episode isn't awesome, we are done mentioning it in this space. That's a promise.

New York Goes to Work [10 PM, VH1]

In a new take on viewer-driven programming, the Flavor of Love breakout star attempts viewer-selected jobs for the chance to win $10,000 if she does them well. The season preview suggests that we might see New York aka Tiffany Pollard working in a mortuary, sewer, drive-thru or as an exterminator. One semi-annoying Dirty Jobs rip-off was enough for us, and we're interested to see what happens to jobs shows if the unemployment rate keeps rising.

Charlie Rose [11:30 PM, PBS] & The Colbert Report [11:30 PM, Comedy Central]

Producer-Director J.J. Abrams is not the most appealing star of the new Star Trek, but he sure likes to talk about his craft. Pity the Abrams fan without a DVR or two televisions tonight as he appears on Rose and Colbert. If that isn't enough, he's scheduled to be on Fallon tomorrow night.