Halle Berry: GLORY, GLORY, HALLE-LUJAH

Q: Getting back to acting, to prepare for your role as a crack addict in Jungle Fever, you didn't bathe for several days and you visited a crack house. Did you want to try drugs, too?

A: Yes. Absolutely. Secretly, part of me has always wanted to try cocaine, but I just couldn't imagine sniffing anything up my nose. It seems like that would hurt. But part of me has always wanted to know: what is this that everybody gets so excited about?

Q: How good an actor do you think you are?

A: I'm not so good.

Q: You feel you have a lot to learn?

A: Uh-huh. And I'm just trying to do it before I get too old. I'm racing the clock! [Laughs]

Q: You once said something about wanting to get out of the business before your face drops. You didn't really mean that, did you?

A: I do really mean that.

Q: How much did playing Dorothy Dandridge and winning a Golden Globe for your performance change things for you?

A: It meant a lot. It instantly gave me credibility, not only with my peers but within the Industry.

Q: What are some of the things you've read and wanted but didn't get?

A: Not that I'm proud of wanting these things, but ... the role that Demi Moore played in Indecent Proposal, where she sells her body for a million dollars. When that came along, I couldn't even be seen for it because they said they didn't want the NAACP on their backs for a black woman selling her body. Then there was one where I wanted to play a forest ranger and they told me there were no black forest rangers, so I couldn't go up for that part.

Q: Who are the actors you have most enjoyed working with or would Like to work with?

A: I really loved Warren Beatty--I learned a lot from him. We've become friends. He's been in the business forever and always has something to say about everything. I use that resource and call him on things. I liked working with Jessica Lange. I would really like to work with Jodie Foster someday. Or just get to know her.

Q: Would you vote for Warren Beatty if he ran for governor?

A: I'd have to see what his campaign was like. See what he has to say.

Q: Some friend you are!

A: It would depend on who he was running against! Warren schooled me on so much politics I don't even want to tell you about it. I really admire what he says. He's very clear about it.

Q: Is he still a sexually attractive man?

A: Yes.

Q: Beatty's a man who seems to have always known what he's wanted. What's something you've always wanted?

A: I wanted to be accepted in school, and I never really felt like I was. I went to an all-white high school and I was one of the only black kids. When I won the prom queen they accused me of stuffing the ballot box. I wanted a really good relationship with my older sister--I don't have that. I wanted a successful, happy marriage--I have it now, but I didn't before. I wanted certain things to happen for my career, and they didn't. Some people say I have everything, and I'm not complaining, but I often feel I'm not satisfied.

Q: What was the problem with your relationship with your sister?

A: We fought a lot. We don't now, but part of me feels that we never recovered from the fighting adolescent years. We fought for real. Sometimes drawing blood. I moved away from home at such a young age that the relationship never quite repaired itself. The distance now keeps us apart. My sister just had a baby with Down's syndrome. The baby's had a tracheotomy, and I'm not a part of it.

Q: We all go through stages in our lives--the ugly years, the awkward years, the bad-skin years. Did you suffer through any of these?

A: Yes, I was overweight for a while in my late high-school years. It was because I was diabetic, but I hadn't been diagnosed yet.

Q: How did you discover you had it?

A: I was 22, on the set doing "Living Dolls," when I passed out. At the hospital I was told I had diabetes. They could have said, "You're dying with cancer." To me, I heard "diabetes," I thought I was going to die. I was ignorant to what it was.

Q: When else have you had a life-changing experience?

A: About five years ago I was mugged in the parking garage of the Beverly Center. For that reason I will only do valet. I was walking to my car with a bunch of bags when the mall was closing. I had a feeling somebody was behind me, and I looked, but didn't seen anyone. By the time I got to my car, somebody grabbed me from behind, stuck an object--maybe a knife or a gun--into my back. I gave him everything--my purse, my bags, my jewelry. I was going to give him my car. I just wanted him to go. It happened so quick, but in those minutes you think, This is it. I reported it, but nothing ever came of it.

Q: Not good memories. How far back into your childhood can you remember?

A: I remember witnessing my mother's struggle. She was a single parent raising two little black kids in the '60s and '70s.

Q: Your parents separated when you were four. Did your mother ever talk bitterly about your father after he left?

A: My father was very abusive to my mother. I saw him kick my mother's ass. She often had less than pleasant things to say about him. But she always let us know that while he was a shitty husband and beat her up, she tried to separate their relationship from ours. She encouraged us to have him in our lives. I didn't see him from the time I was four until I was 10, when he came back. My mother said, "I'm going to give it a shot," because she wanted us to have him in our lives. He lived with us for one year, in 1976, and it was the worst year of my life. He beat on my sister. Never me. We had a toy Maltese, and he threw our dog across the dining room at dinner, and the dog almost bit its tongue off. The blood, and that image--when somebody mentions my father, that's the first thing I think about, that dog flying across the room. I remember crying, "God, let him leave," so my life could get back to normal.

Q: Did you ever get another toy Maltese?

A: I had two. About four years ago I went jogging during the day and left my two Maltese in the backyard, which I never do. I was with a friend who said, "You always lock those dogs up, it's not fair," because I keep them in a pen when I leave. I felt guilty. When I came home, coyotes had killed my dogs. They had been mangled all around the backyard.

Q: Jesus, that's enough to make one lose one's religion. Have you?

A: I was brought up in a spiritual way. My mother was open to all religions. She could not believe that one form of religion was the only way. She taught us to have tolerance and to decide what we believed when we felt like we needed religion.

Q: Are you religious now?

A: I'm still spiritual. I haven't found a need to have one religion that I practice on a daily basis.

Q: Do you pray?

A: Yes. And I believe in God. I just don't know if that God is Jehovah, Buddha or Allah.

Q: When you were younger did you struggle with your identity because you were always told you were pretty?

A: I think so. Some people would say I'm pretty, but not everybody would agree that I was smart or funny or had a solid character. "Pretty" was said about me more than anything else. I got to the point where I loathed hearing it. I loathed being judged by my physical self because I knew that was the tiniest part of me.

Q: How old were you when you discovered sex?

A: At 17, when I graduated from high school. It was with my first boyfriend.

Q: Do you keep a journal?

A: Yes, I keep a gratitude journal. Oprah got me to do that. I write down as many things in that day as I'm grateful for.

Q: You obviously weren't grateful to the guy whose identity you've never revealed, who hit your ear and caused you to lose 80 percent of your hearing. I once asked Wesley Snipes in this magazine if he was the one who did it. He said no. Was he telling the truth?

A: [Laughs] I have vowed never to disclose that person's name or discuss it. The sad situation is, I really loved the person who did that. When you really love, you never stop loving. It's out of protection for that person. I don't want to put this stigma on him.

Q: Understandable. Have you ever worn a hearing aid in that ear?

A: I probably should, but my vanity won't allow it. And then, I like not hearing stuff, trust me.

Q: Do you dream much?

A: I dream that when I'm talking my teeth fly out of my mouth and I can't speak anymore. I don't know what that means! I tell myself, "I'm over that in my life now. I'm not going to have that dream." And I still have that dream--at least twice a month.

Q: What are the five most important things in life?

A: Larry! Are you serious? [Thinks] One is love. Passion for something. Family. Knowledge, education. Laughter.

Q: What period of history most fascinates you?

A: Most of it doesn't because it wasn't too good for people like me. I'm really happy to be living right now, with the way history has changed. I wouldn't want to go back in time. Whatever the future might be, it won't feel as bad as being enslaved.

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Lawrence Grobel interviewed Angelina Jolie for the June issue of Movieline.

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