Drew Barrymore: Drew Confessions

She's been in the news for making Charlie's Angels a blockbuster, escaping a house fire and marrying Tom Green, but there's more to Drew Barrymore than headlines. Here she tells us what she really does behind closed doors--from the phobia she developed after the destruction of her home to the anxiety she's experienced as a producer to the emotional roller coaster she endured while making her biggest challenge to date, Riding in Cars with Boys.

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Drew Barrymore is one of Hollywood's happier souls. She's as gracious and friendly to her fans as she is to her coworkers, right down to the grips. She identifies with the gaiety of flowers, wearing them in her hair to glamorous events, and even naming her production company after them. When out in public with her husband, envelope-pushing actor-comedian-filmmaker Tom Green, she exudes admiration, warmth, benevolence. And there are few people who've met her who haven't later gushed about her generosity and genuine nature.

Being liked in Hollywood is nice, but that's not all Drew Barrymore has working in her favor. She's gained tremendous respect from her peers for having survived a tumultuous childhood acting career and an adolescent bout with substance abuse, and establishing herself as a leading lady with the box-office successes The Wedding Singer and Ever After: A Cinderella Story. She's also earned a reputation for being a savvy producer by turning the 1999 comedy Never Been Kissed into a moderate hit, and Charlie's Angels into a surprise blockbuster. Barrymore's slate at Flower Films, which she runs with partner Nancy Juvonen, is now jam-packed--she'll soon costar with Ben Stiller in the comedy Duplex, and she's got two high-profile films in development--_Charlie's Angels 2_ and Barbarella, a remake of the 1968 sci-fi kitsch classic. What she's most excited about, however, is her gut-wrenching performance in director Penny Marshall's drama Riding in Cars with Boys. Based on the book by Beverly Donofrio, Barrymore plays a thrill-seeking teenager whose life takes a turn for the serious when she becomes pregnant at 15. The film explores the different stages she goes through as a single mom up until age 35.

The last year has been a busy one for Barrymore. In addition to spending nearly eight months on Riding in Cars, she flew all over the globe to promote the hell out of Charlie's Angels, she executive produced the indie fantasy Donnie Darko, she saw her Coldwater Canyon house burn to the ground and she kept the press wondering about her marital status until she finally officially tied the knot with Green in Malibu (they had a symbolic wedding in the spring in the South Pacific).

When I meet Barrymore at the Sunset Marquis Hotel in West Hollywood, I see no signs of wear and tear. There are a few things off about her appearance, though. Her hair is a short, spiky mix of dark roots and a few shades of blonde from the many color treatments she had to endure for Riding in Cars. And she's wearing what she calls her "Joyce DeWitt pants"faded, comfortable blue jeans that look like something DeWitt wore on "Three's Company" because she hasn't had time to buy new clothes after the fire incinerated her wardrobe.

MICHAEL FLEMING: Your life has been full of newsworthy events in the past year. Are you overwhelmed?

DREW BARRYMORE: God forbid I ever be mundane. Knowing we'd be having this interview, I set my house on fire.

Q: What really was the cause?

A: Electrical, they say. The house started burning, and within four minutes, the whole house was gone. No time to grab anything. Wood floors, open floor plan, old. It went like a match.

Q: How did you deal with losing your possessions?

A: I came to believe it was time to start over. I needed to learn to let go of things because I was coming to a very collecting, hoarding place in my life, holding really strong to my past. Things that made me know I had an identity I didn't have growing up, something I thought would be good for my future children. That it was all taken away is something I need to examine. I believe it happens for spiritual reasons. The alternative, sitting around and being bummed out, that would be pointless.

Q: You were just beginning to collect mementos and heirlooms from the Barrymore acting dynasty. Were you able to save any of them?

A: I've been able to fix some of the silver that was given to me, through chemical solutions. One of the things that meant the most to me were these photo books of my family. Luckily Tom closed the door to the room they were in so they survived. Everything else was gone.

Q: Which of your possessions have been hardest to replace?

A: I've had most of my clothes for years. I hate shopping, going into the dressing room with that fluorescent lighting. You spend all this time finding clothes that make you feel good in your body. Nancy [Juvonen, her partner at Flower Films] bought me some pants, and they were peg-leg--five foot four in peg-leg is not a good combination. They make me look two feet tall and about eight feet wide. Not only did my house burn down, but I was left feeling ugly.

Q: At the time of the fire you seemed to take losing your house lightly because you made jokes to the press about it, but surely you must have been terribly upset.

A: It happened at three in the morning. We stayed up all night, dealing with the fire chief, and went to a hotel that afternoon. That night, when I went to sleep and Tom shut off the lights, I started crying and screaming, "I can't have the lights off!" Our hotel room was backed against a wall; there was no way to get out. I never thought of that before when I'd gone into any room. It was Grammy week, so we were fortunate to have this room. I put the television on, never really slept. The next night, Tom shut off the lights and I started screaming again. He said, "You know what? Let's not make this a thing. You don't want to be afraid to sleep in the dark when you're 35. You can nip this in the bud right now, and I will do whatever it takes to help you." I said, "You're right, I don't have to make this a thing! It's my psychological choice not to be damaged by this right now." I was determined to not become crippled by the experience. He was right, and because he's got such a mix of sensitivity and rationalism, it worked. I haven't been afraid.

Q: It must be nice to have someone like that in your life who can help you work things out.

A: He's smart. Sometimes I seem like an emotional basket case compared to Tom. But he can get emotional and weird, too. He's got his neurotic side; I've got mine.

Q: Your dog Flossie is credited with saving you from the fire. What shape is she in?

A: She's so fat at this point, from all the treats. It's weird; she's depressed, and I can't tell if it's because she's overweight or because of the trauma. She doesn't have a Tom telling her to get rational about it.

Q: You went to great lengths to not have the media crash your wedding. Was it worth it?

A: You know that saying, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye? Well, it's all fun and games until someone ruins your wedding day. It should be sacred, not some press joke. I feel I'm on this metaphorical gynecological table most of the time. It's all out there, and I'm totally cool with that. My wedding was the one thing I felt animalistically protective of.

Q: Michael Douglas sold photos from his wedding to Catherine Zeta-Jones to OK! magazine because it gave them quality control and backed the stalkerazzi off.

A: That's one way of going about it, but it wouldn't be my way. If he felt it was about protection, I respect that. But I cannot sell out what I consider to be sacred, and there are very few things that are. I'm fair and accommodating about most things.

Q: People thought you had taken your openness to new extremes when Tom Green went on "The Tonight Show" and told Jay Leno you were with child.

A: Not only didn't that bother me, I loved it. I was backstage when he said it, laughing my butt off. The fact that people started running with the story made me love it more. He said I whispered it in his ear when he went on the show. As if I would ever tell my husband that I'm pregnant just as he's going on a talk show! I'm thinking, Where does he get this stuff? One of the things we bond over is details, and I loved the detail about whispering it in his ear as he was coming out. But I'd never do that. I'd probably spell it out in flower petals in a private room.

Q: Do you feel pressured to make your relationship seem happy all the time because everyone is looking?

A: You could try to project this public storybook marriage, and that everyone should admire you for pulling it off. That's not who I am. I can't pretend something's a certain way because it might make me look better. I don't relate to people who seem perfect, because I'm so imperfect. The only thing I know how to do is figure things out in front of everyone, because that's what I've done my whole life. There's no manipulation.

Q: Tom's known for pulling pranks. What's the latest one he's done to you?

A: We were looking at this house the other day. He called me and asked, "Did you hear about the house? We can't live in it. There's a bomb shelter underneath and it's unstable. And, anyway, Brendan Fraser and his family are living in it." I guess he'd seen that movie Blast From the Past. Sometimes I'll take him seriously and get upset, saying, "What the fuck are you saying?" He's been working on this book he calls 20 Ways I Scare My Fiancée. We weren't married when he started it, but I think he should keep that title.

Q: Is it true that Tom urged you to reconcile with your mother, with whom you've had a rocky relationship since you were a teenager?

A: Yes. He invited her to spend last Christmas with his family in Ottawa. I was nervous about getting together for three days, but it turned out to be fun. His parents and my mother got along really well. They have a great sense of humor, and my mom has this weird, wicked sense of humor. If his parents were uptight, it wouldn't have worked. Because they have kind hearts and humor, and they don't judge people, it flowed. "20/20" had done a segment on Tom, his cancer special and his comedy. After dinner, we watched it in the family room, and everybody felt so proud. Then we went upstairs and sang karaoke and played games. It was a perfect evening.

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