David Duchovny: Coming and Going

Q: Let's talk about your childhood. Did you have any pets as a kid?

A: Three dogs and four cats.

Q: And how often did you experience the death of a pet?

A: Just once per pet. [Laughs] We had a dog named jester who I always thought we gave away, but I'll tell you the dirty secret of my family: Jester was put down. He was a wild dog, hard to control, so my dad put him down. That was horrible. Our mythical family dog, the best dog, Jason, was a girl. She died when I was 11 and that was the heartbreak of dog death. She'd had a very dramatic path. She was found wandering in Egypt by a family we knew that was vacationing there. They found this starving dog wandering in the desert--sounds biblical-- and brought it back, though they didn't really want it. We spent summers on Fire Island near them, and this dog started coming by our house one summer, especially to my mother. At the end of the summer they asked us if we wanted to keep her, so we did. She was a wonderful dog: smart, wise, loving, worried, very protective. Whenever my brother and I fought she would try to pull us apart. While we still had Jason we got Sal, a cat from the greengrocer on 11th and 1st Avenue, and then we got Sal's sister by another marriage, Miss Emily Then Jason died. She was my mother's beloved soul mate and it happened around my parents' divorce, so it was a very confusing time. Then we got a Scottie named Daphne, plus a gray car named Shanghai, then a black cat named The Alien, who my best friend's girlfriend thought we tailed Ableman, so we liked that name better and changed it. All but Ableman are dead now.

Q: When did Daphne die?

A: Daphne died when I was 25. It was really Daphne's death that was the hardest. She wasn't a great friend dog--terriers don't like humans that much. But she wasn't really like a dog. She never gave you that fun that dogs give. She was always very worried, rarely wagged her tail, never got excited. She'd sit in a chair like a person, with her back against the cushion and her front paws on the arm. My mother has said that she got Daphne when my father left and she poured all her sadness into the dog, and that she thought she squashed the dog's personality, but that without Daphne she wouldn't have survived. The dog was a receptacle for all of her pain. I believe there's some truth to that. The dog was definitely carrying a burden she didn't understand. When my mother called and said she was going to have to put Daphne down, I went over to say goodbye. Daphne could hardly walk. I picked her up and took her into every room in the house and talked to her about memories I had of stuff that we'd done in that room. That was really hard.

Q: What was the most terrifying moment of your life?

A: A couple of years after I'd been a lifeguard in a place called Ocean Beach on Fire Island, I went back our there with a friend who wasn't a good swimmer. It was rough water and he couldn't get back in. I tried to get him in and I couldn't. We were both getting pretty tired, and we made the decision that I should leave him and get in myself and get help. So we went further out, past the breakers, where it wasn't rough, and I said, "Hang on for 15 minutes." That was scary, leaving him there.

Q: What's the strangest thing you've ever personally seen?

A: A woman writing her name with a pen stuck in her vagina in Thailand.

Q: What greater performance than that could you have seen?

A: When I was 17 I saw Springsteen in Jersey. That meant a lot to me.

Q: You've compared yourself to Holden Caulfield: hating hypocrisy and pretension. Where do you most see that?

A: There's a lot of it everywhere. I see it in people who all of a sudden start having English accents after they get an award. It's a young feeling to think that the world should be without pretension. It's like a 14-year-old saying, "Why can't you just tell the truth?" Mulder is like that--a guy who wants everybody to tell the truth, which as you get older you see is not the way the world works.

Q: What's with you and Howard Stern? Initially he dismissed you as a fake Richard Gere, then you appeared on his show.

A: He says things that are controversial or hurtful or mean because they're funny. Calling me a fake Richard Gere is somewhat funny, I guess. He reminds me of a kid, that's the persona. Once you get on there and show you're capable of sparring with him and you make good radio, that's all he cares about. You do a good show, then he likes you.

Q: Has he ever made you uncomfortable?

A: Not when I was there. It's more uncomfortable when he talks about me when I'm listening in the car because I can't be there to defend myself. Not just him, but anybody, I was in Vancouver once watching Letterman. Mike Myers was on and said that when some people see him they think he's David Duchovny. It was a surreal moment where I was just trying to go to sleep, and I hear my name and think, "Oh my God, they're gonna say something terrible." Then he did an imitation of me and it was a nightmare. When you hear your name, it's just a cold sweat immediately, like the principal calling you.

Q: So do you do an Austin Powers imitation?

A: No, I don't, but I'll get him. [Laughs]

Q: What's the most outrageous thing Howard Stern asked you?

A: He had a list of women I'd supposedly had sex with and he was way off. When he said he was going to ask me about these women I thought this was going to be hard, because if I had had sex with them, was I going to lie? But I hadn't even heard of these women! It was great--I got to say "No, no, no, no, no."

Q: What about Alicia Rio, the porn star you once mentioned wanting to have lunch with? Ever hear from her?

A: Yes, she read what I'd said and called. I didn't go to lunch though, being married and everything. No disrespect to Alicia Rio, and Téa wouldn't care, bur I didn't know how she would use it. For all I know she just wanted to have lunch, but you can't take the chance that somebody is going to have a photographer there and then all of a sudden I'm daring a porn star. The bad thing about celebrity is that you can't do the innocent things that don't look innocent.

Q: What did you think of GQ's describing you as being as murky as swamp water, the anti-Carrey?

A: Murky as swamp water is fine. I try not to be that clear. I'll take that one. The anti-Carrey thing I didn't quite buy. I don't think Jim Carrey is clear. I would think Tom Cruise is clear. Even Brad Pitt is more clear than Carrey. Carrey seems to me a very difficult guy to read. I wouldn't set him up as the paradigm of simplicity or clarity.

Q: Do you feel, as the writer did, that you radiate an aura of superiority?

A: That writer felt the same thing about my dog-- she felt my dog didn't want her butt smelled by other dogs, and that's patently untrue. My dog loves to have her ass smelled by any kind of animal.

Q: You got into some trouble with the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) when you used the words "fag" and "sissy." Did you have to apologize for being insensitive?

A: [Laughs] Nah, they called and said, "Oh David, you're smarter than that.' I said, "Look, I used faggot not as a homosexual term but as feeling emasculated. I understand what you guys are doing and it's great. People should be tolerant. Gay bashing is abhorrent. But I feel good about the English language and I like having the word faggot at my disposal, because it's a powerful word with a lot of associations. I won't have anybody take my words away from me."

Q: Does it bother you having to be politically correct with language?

A: Obviously people's feelings are going to get hurt when you use certain words, but you can't outlaw words. They're really the history of our culture. They tell you what's going on. When you make words politically incorrect you're taking all the poetry out of the language. I'm pro anybody living their lives the way they want to live it, sexually and otherwise; and I'm anti any kind of language repression.

Q: Saul Bellow said: "Love has become a consumerist phenomenon because we judge people as we judge commodities-- we can do better, we can get another one, we can always replace what's lost."

A: We live in a world where in the 10 hours that I've been up today I've probably had access to more information than John Milton had in his entire life. I don't think that's a good thing. You see so much. Nothing is local, everything is global. I have access to all these lifestyles, all these people's experiences, all these cars, all these women, all these grass-is-greeners. And it fucks with the human mind.

Q: Since you knew John Kennedy Jr., how did you react to his death?

A: I didn't know him well. I knew him when I was 14, and I fan into him maybe five times in the last 20 years. As far as the public reaction is concerned, I didn't feel it was overblown. There was something lost, some kind of connection to a past that was gone. Personally, his being exactly my age, it was odd to think of him being dead and then consider, what if I died at this age? Am I living life the way I should be? It just made me reflect hack selfishly on myself as well.

Q: When was the last time you saw or spoke with him?

A: At a Knicks play-off game a year and a half ago. He came over to say hi. He had a big piece of bubblegum on his butt.

Q: Do you agree with Michael Jordan being ESPN's athlete of the century?

A: No, I would have picked Ali because of his impact and courage. I don't think Michael Jordan had to perform in the same kind or spiritual arena that Ali did. It didn't mean as much, ultimately. Personally, I think Bo Jackson was the best athlete, but his career was cut short. Then again, the best athlete was probably someone we've never heard of. That's my fantasy.

Q: What about Time choosing Einstein as Person of the Century?

A: That seems like such an odd idea, the best or most influential person. Einstein may have found out more truths, but Freud's probably the most influential in how we think now.

Q: Is there any painting you'd like to live in?

A: That's actually an acting exercise--it's called the Painting. You choose a painting and you work yourself into it. I chose this van Gogh painting, The Night Cafe in Arks, a scene in a bar with a pool table and a nutty looking guy staring straight out. I loved being that guy; it was like he wanted to leave the painting.

Q: How about enacting a Jackson Pollock?

A: That's more advanced work. [Laughs] That's like graduate work in the Method. Or if you tried to be a broken dish in a Schnabel painting.

Q: What works of literature would you save?

A: American: The Great Gatsby, Leaves of Grass and Emerson's essays. World: Ulysses, because through that you get a sense of other books, and The Faerie Queene.

Q: Presidential politics: anybody you like?

A: I like Bradley and Gore, given the choices. I'd like to know who does Donald Trump's hair.

Q: Gore or Bradley?

A: Gore will get it. I hope he gets it over Bush, because Bush will be a disaster. I prefer McCain over Bush.

Q: Hillary vs Giuliani for the Senate?

A: I like people who live in the state. I've got to go for Giuliani.

Q: What do you think Clinton will do when he leaves office?

A: Take a deep breath. He's a relatively young guy; he's got another career ahead of him. I don't know what it is.

Q: What do you think of Jesse Ventura?

A: His show's only gonna last for four years.

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Lawrence Grobel interviewed Courteney Cox Arquette for the Dec./Jan. issue of Movieline.

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