James Woods: The Man Who Loves Women

Q: So you think when a couple's together off-screen it weakens their power on-screen?

A: There's nothing more boring than watching married couples act together. Every time Tom Cruise makes a movie, it makes billions of dollars except when he does it with Nicole Kidman, They're both terrific actors I love watching individually, bur for some reason when they're together, as wonderful as they are, as nice as they are--and I've been around them--it doesn't work. We want to see a battle of the sexes on-screen, a spark. Somehow, a happy marriage doesn't make for good drama. If Spencer Tracy had married Katharine Hepburn, they wouldn't be the greatest screen couple of the 20th century.

Q: What about Melanie Griffith, with whom you've also worked well several times on-screen? Why didn't you hook up with her in a more lasting way?

A: I've known her since she was 15 years old. You cannot even imagine what she looked like then. When she was 16, she said to me: "Oh, I have this boyfriend," and I asked, "Does your mom approve of it?" and she said, "She'd better. I've been fucking him since I was 14." I thought, "Here's a rather rare character." It was always sort of destined that we were going to be together somehow. But whenever we'd meet, well, the phone would ring or something, I always sort of caught her at the wrong time. So, we've had a destiny we've never fulfilled. She's deeply in love with Antonio so it's not even an issue now. We laugh about it, like, "How did we ever slip through each other's fingers?" Certain relationships just go beyond the point of no return. It's like with married people. They know each other's secrets so well, the mystery of sex is no longer an issue. It's the S.O.P. Syndrome--the same old pussy. People make huge mistakes with intimacy.

Q: Any examples you care to cite?

A: One of the worst things to ever happen to marriage is this insane practice or being right there with the camcorder while the kid is being born. Marriages die from it. You're seeing your wife as a mother, literally, and all those unconscious Freudian taboos come rising up. Feminists don't want to hear about this because they hate men anyway, but there are certain things primitive peoples were smarter about. There was a reason why among ancient peoples for thousands and thousands of years, men avoided childbirth up close and personal. There has to be romance, a sense of mystery. I mean, who wants to see TV commercials about yeast infections?

Q: With whom do you think you might have chemistry on-screen?

A: Winona Ryder is supernaturally beautiful. She has a poetic beauty. I don't know what the circumstances would be of my doing a scene with someone of her age or her look, though.

Q: There's a not-quite-ready-to-grow-up quality about her, almost childishness.

A: You say that as if it's a bad thing. [Laughing] I'm joking. I see what you're saving, but I think she's a charlotte russe--a chocolate éclair with a gooey center.

Q: What if someone paired you with Jennifer Lopez?

A: Maybe it's the roles they've concocted for her. I mean, she always has to play the strong woman, like an FBI agent. If I want to fuck an FBI agent, I'll turn gay. And that MTV video stuff of people half naked--a woman wiggling her pussy in your face isn't seductive to me, I like women with a sense of mystery, an aloofness, a promise of something much more seductive. I don't find strip clubs sexy. Watching someone gyrate around in a G-string for a fistful of $50s doesn't do it for me. I like women to be Everest, a great conquest.

Q: You did Oliver Stone's Any Given Sunday, which Sean "Puffy" Combs was in briefly until he was replaced. Any encounters with Jennifer on the set?

A: I don't mean to say anything bad about her, because she's really a lovely person and a beautiful woman. But she was there during rehearsals, and she was kind of complaining, ''Oliver's pushing him too hard." Telling Oliver how he should direct Puffy. I was like, "Oh, please."

Q: How would Gwyneth Paltrow be for you, on-screen or otherwise?

A: The only problem I have with her is that I acted with her mother and I'd feel like I was robbing the cradle. Every time I see her, I think she's such a sweet girl, but it's a kind of Uncle Jim feeling I have about her. I see her like a niece. It's like, "Oh, the kid won an Oscar. How cute."

Q: How do you react to turning up on lists of the most well-endowed men in Hollywood?

A: It's so funny to me. I never even thought about it until some actress said it in a magazine and then somebody else said it.

Q: Sean Young was one of those somebodies. And to me, too.

A: She also said she glued it to my thigh with Crazy Glue. When somebody asked me whether that was true, I said, "Of course not." I should have said, "It's half true--actually, she glued it to my ankle."

Q: Sean said you should have been endowed with a tiny one so you could get on with your life.

A: I read some of these things and thought, "Now, why did she say that?" But since then I've also thought, "She's sort of got a point." I don't think penis size has anything to do with anything. Sexual attraction is all about confidence, and, as I said, women like men who really love them. I don't think I've ever been with a woman I didn't love when I was with her. I loved Sean. I thought she was great. There were a lot of misconceptions about what went on there, but I loved Sean. I still have a great fondness for her.

Q: Even when she was bashing you publicly?

A: Most of the bitching, whining and moaning chicks do, I don't really pay much attention to. It's their nature. It's like white noise. After I listen to it, I just smile and give them a big kiss and all of a sudden a big smile comes across their face. Or not.

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