Sandra Bullock: There's Something About Sandy

Q: What kind of kid were you?

A: My grandmother said I was the Devil's spawn, that I was Satan. Because I talked back, I never did what I was told. I really should have had more respect for the teachers I had. It was my insecurity.

Q: Did you ever steal anything?

A: Sure. Stole money from my mom's purse.

Q: How often did you want to kill your younger sister, Gesine, who now works for your production company?

A: I hated her so much. I was so jealous, because she was the cutest little thing when she was born. I was four--and it was just wrong that this cute person came into the world. I was a horrible sister.

Q: Your musical side comes from both your parents--your father was a vocal coach, your mother an opera singer.

A: They're brilliant people. I had role models who were exceptional, and also incredibly human. My father's a Renaissance man: brilliant opera singer, voice teacher, wonderful carpenter, builder of houses, painter, gardener. My mother was an incredibly successful opera singer in Europe. She was young and beautiful and strong and had a very similar voice to [Maria] Callas--a very rich, almost painful soprano which was haunting.

Q: Who inherited the musical talent, your sister or you?

A: We both did. We both played piano for years. She danced ballet, I did jazz. She has a better voice. Our tastes are different. That's why I love her opinion, we come at things from different avenues. That's why I need her. She's smart--she passed the bar. Our smarts are in different places, they balance each other.

Q: Your sister's getting married before you. Any jealousy there?

A: Please, no. I would like to be married when I'm ready for it. And when I find THE guy. I haven't come across the guy I respect so much that I want to battle things out with yet. One day I will. Up until this year I wasn't ready to be that for somebody. I wasn't good enough to be someone's wife.

Q: How much of a control freak are you?

A: I used to be tremendously. Now I hear the words "I don't care" coming more and more out of my mouth. Unless it's something that I feel very passionately about.

Q: How often do you cry?

A: Lately I've been doing my share, but hardly ever.

Q: Is there a lot of sadness in your life?

A: Oh yeah, lately. It has to do with life and death. It happens to everyone--it's just that I'm dealing with mine now, and I don't like it. But oddly enough, I've never been happier.

Q: Are you dealing with family illness?

A: Everything. Not me. But it's that curveball.

Q: Have you experienced death yet?

A: Not yet. A dog. My grandmother, but she was really old, in Germany, and I wasn't there.

Q: Have you ever taken any hallucinogens?

A: Please, I can barely keep my mind together as it is. I've altered my mind, but not with hallucinogens.

Q: You've spoken in the past about being remorseful about lots of things: action, dress, comments. Still feel that way?

A: I question myself constantly. I wonder if I've done the things I should have done. A leaf falls and I feel guilt. You'd think I'm Jewish and Catholic, and I'm neither. These days what makes me remorseful is if I don't speak my mind. And not spending enough time with people I really love--my mom, dad, sister, close friends. I am so loved on a level that I feel I don't deserve, but I got it; they save my life all the time.

Q: What have you learned about fame that you didn't know before?

A: That it's nothing, has nothing to do with anything. You can't control it, it's not yours: It's a good publicist, and what great designer you happen to be wearing that week and who you're on the arm of. It's fleeting, as the fashions are. It's tricky and engulfing. For anyone looking for validation and to be filled up by it, it's painful to watch. It distorts. And it affects everybody. Anybody who says they're not affected by it, bullshit. I found myself doing things and later going, "I can't believe I did that." There's no way you're immune to it, nor can anyone prepare you for it.

Q: What are some of your favorite books?

A: Erich Fromm's The Art of Loving. Tuesdays with Morrie. Anything by Dr. Seuss.

Q: What are your three favorite films?

A: Cinema Paradiso. The Wizard of Oz. Sophie's Choice.

Q: Comedians?

A: Jerry Lewis. Carol Burnett. Jim Carrey.

Q: Quotes?

A: "Those who know do not speak, and those who speak do not know."

Q: Who are the men you most admire?

A: My father, Pablo Neruda, and a really close friend of mine.

Q: What band would you like to sing in?

A: Any authentic blues band. And I'd like to sing like Etta James.

Q: What kind of dreams do you have?

A: Very violent, very vivid. Extensive. Telling.

Q: What actor makes you grip your seat in the movies?

A: Oh my God, I'm so glad you asked this. Because I just watched Devil in a Blue Dress. Oh ... my ... God! Denzel Washington is so sexy... it's scary! I love that film.

Q: What's your favorite food?

A: Anything fried, pathetically. Kentucky Fried Chicken with the biscuit, a cold beer, and Dairy Queen. That's what I had on my birthday.

Q: Is there anything you collect?

A: Homes. I'm crazy about architecture and designing and redoing houses.

Q: Do you resell the homes once you're finished remodeling?

A: I should but I end up renting them out to friends. I'd rather have people living in it for next to nothing who will take care of it and love it, because it becomes so much a part of you.

Q: Your own home now is in Austin, Texas. How long have you lived there?

A: Almost two years. This was my opportunity to create heaven on a piece of land that I had in my head all my life. A stone French Provincial farmhouse, New Orleans-style balconies and porches, wide-planked flooring, all the textures and tiles I've saved from my travels.

Q: When did you find you had an ability to install toilets and tile floors?

A: At a young age. My dad didn't have a son, so when he started building something, I was out there.

Q: What happens when you use grout between the tile and an aluminum strip at a door entrance?

A; I always use wood. I hate aluminum. It's not a natural texture. And the grout won't stick to aluminum.

Q: You actually know what you're talking about. Besides remodeling, you love to dance. Why is dance important?

A: Dancing is such a natural part of who I am, I've been doing it all my life. It's one of the most liberating expressions of passion and sensuality.

Q: You were a waitress once. How big a tipper are you now?

A: I'm a huge tipper, because I know the shit they have to go through. I've got the money, I leave it on the table.

Q: Didn't you get held up at gunpoint once in those days?

A: I was leaving the place I worked at. It was some guy with a gun with an apple on top of it--I think he was pissed at Eve and was taking it out on me. He was really messed up. I couldn't understand a word he said except for "pussy." He dragged me into an alley. I had $189 and I certainly wasn't going to give it to him. And I told him if he wanted pussy it was going to be dead pussy because he'd have to shoot me. At first I thought about kicking the gun, because I was a dancer, but then I thought, what if it went off in my face? So I thought, if I turned and walked away he might shoot, but he might not hit my spinal cord. That's all I kept thinking. I walked back to the restaurant and I was fine.

Q: You noted once that every project that you pick parallels where your head is at--is that still true?

A: Yeah.

Q: How do your latest projects parallel your mind-set?

A: Once you see Forces of Nature you'll figure it out.

Q: Hey, that's not an answer.

A: I can't honestly help you on this one.

Q: OK, final questions. Why is wearing men's underwear sexy?

A: It just is. I love it. You're taking on the role of the guy. And they're just comfy.

Q: What about being with a guy who likes to wear your underwear?

A: I don't think so. [But] I had a boyfriend who was very funny, who put them on his head.

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Lawrence Grobel interviewed Nicole Kidman for the October 98 issue of Movieline.

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