Guys Who Cry

Sometimes we need a little help to see things clearly, somebody else to open the floodgates for us. Check out Timothy Hutton's remarkable crying scene in 1980s Ordinary People. The teenager Hutton plays has a man-sized problem: he survived a boating accident in which his older brother died, and his mother's grief is so great that she has emotionally abandoned him right when his own guilt and loss are too great for him to deal with alone. Only a cardigan-wearing shrink can get you through something like this, and Judd Hirsch indeed helps Hutton identify the source of his guilt and pain. The big breakthrough session is a catharsis of shouting, resentment, confrontation, enlightenment and, finally, tears. Hutton and Hirsch embrace, and those of us in the audience who are affected by this sort of material in the hands of terrific performers need a week to recover.

Now check out last year's Good Will Hunting. Matt Damon plays a young janitor with an impossible math problem he knows how to solve and a rotten boyhood he can't. Robin Williams is the cardigan-wearing shrink who helps him confront his past, thereby allowing him to give up his mop and love his girlfriend for the rest of his life. The big breakthrough session is a catharsis of shouting, resentment, confrontation, enlightenment, and, finally, tears. Damon and Williams embrace, and those of us in the audience who are affected by this sort of material in the hands of terrific performers need two weeks to recover. If you're gonna borrow, you'd better make it better, and Damon, with his uninhibited performance, did just that.

A friend of mine told me about a girlfriend of hers who uses crying to manage her emotions. "Something bad happens to her, something she can't deal with. She has a good cry, feels better, and tackles the problem." Would the world be a better place if men could weep that easily and effectively? Certainly, baseball games would be longer than they already are. Wall Street would not be a pretty sight. Perhaps sometime in the distant future, an evolution in guyness will occur allowing you to wail at will like a mother at her only daughter's wedding. But just in case evolution has its reasons for keeping guy eyes drier, just remember that we men are not nearly as tearless as Hollywood would have us seem. Next time you see that tiny crimson light of the smoke detector flickering above you, just remember this: tear duct for tear duct, Olivier at the height of his career couldn't match you, the Dylan of despair, alone with your grief. 'Cause we men, ain't we?

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Michael Angeli interviewed Joaquin Phoenix for the March '98 issue of Movieline.

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