Michael Keaton: Dr. Michael & Mr. Keaton

Q: Soon after two early successes with Night Shift and Mr. Mom you were offered Splash, which Tom Hanks has you to thank for turning down. Did that film's success give you second thoughts?

A: No. It would have been fine, because success always helps. But I went and established very different kinds of performances in a row. The downside of that is that most people don't look at the variety. Showing I can be an average hitter who occasionally hits for power, knocks in some RBIs, is a good fielder, can play the infield and the outfield--that's anything but the thinking in the Industry. The thinking is: we have X-amount of money invested and we need him to do that.

Q: Was that the thinking when you were chosen to play Batman?

A: I remember flying across from London, after doing Batman and reading an article in the Wall Street Journal about how concerned everyone was that I was going to play that role. That was a little disconcerting. Everybody was saying, "How could they? What are they thinking?"

Q: According to the book Hit & Sun, it wasn't Tim Burton who first wanted you, but Jon Peters. True?

A: I've heard various things. It was Guber and Peters and Tim all agreeing. Regardless, they deserve a lot of credit. It was a gutsy move.

Q: Burton called the making of Batman torture--the worst period of his life. Did you feel that way?

A: Yeah, and he had a hard time with the second one, too.

Q: According to Hit & Sun, after Sean Young broke her arm in a riding accident, Burton wanted to replace her with Michelle Pfeiffer as Vicki Vale, but I you'd just broken off a romance with her and thought it would be awkward for you to work together. Is that accurate?

A: Semi. But it wasn't that dear-cut. I didn't feel like, 'Oh no, absolutely not'. I just wanted to forewarn them that it might make things slightly uncomfortable, and was it worth it?

Q: Was it uncomfortable with her as Catwoman in Batman Returns?

A: Not at all. She's a great actress.

Q: How uncomfortable was it for you when Woody Allen fired you from The Purple Rose of Cairo?

A: It sat with me for awhile.

Q: Was Allen any kind of icon to you before you met him?

A: Absolutely, and I still think he's one of the really great filmmakers. [But] I was seduced and he was seduced, and we both knew that we were doing something that wasn't meant to happen. I knew that there was no way I was ever going to be good in that role.

Q: As the youngest of seven children were you spoiled or beat up on as a kid?

A: I got my ass kicked for many years. Want to hear a great story? I was doing a movie for this very famous producer who has a reputation for intimidation and being a maniac--I'd heard all the stories. Something happened between us over the phone--he blew off what I had to say and got real abusive. I said to him, "Where are you now?" and we were going to leave our hotels and meet, like two maniacs in the middle of the night. He had pissed me off, really got to me on an emotional level.

Next day he came down the hall and I said, "C'mere for a second, would you?" We went into my dressing room and I sat real close to him and looked at him and said, "I'm the youngest of seven kids, and for years I would get in fights with my brothers and kids in school and I would get my ass kicked, so I'm used to it. Now, I know you think you're a tough guy and you might be able to kick my ass. Maybe you can. But you know what? You're going to have to take my teeth out of your neck to stop me, because I will never, ever quit. If you want to talk about it some more, let's talk about it." I could see he wanted to smile but didn't know if he should--he was wondering whether I was threatening him, which I wasn't. I knew I fucking had him. Nobody ever told him that before. I think we had a mutual respect after that. And I like the guy.

Q: Sounds to me you're talking about Batman producer Jon Peters.

A: I ain't talking.

Q: Off the record?

A: [Laughs] I ain't saying.

Q: OK, so let's return to childhood stories. What was your father's profession?

A: Rabbi. [Laughs] No, he was an engineer and surveyor. Taught himself through a correspondence course.

Q: Did your parents also raise chickens?

A: We lived in the country between industrial towns and everything grew up around us. To make extra money my parents would sell eggs and chickens. I was very little. I remember a chicken's head being chopped off with the chicken running around. I wasn't sure if my imagination was running away with me or if it really happened. It really happened.

Q: How large was your imagination?

A: When I was a kid I played by myself and created stories. Once on a day trip in the car my dad pointed out the state prison. That's all I had to hear. I loved any breaking out [stories]. One of my two favorite books is Great Escape Stones, which is about guys who escaped from Japanese prisoner-of-war camps. It was just the coolest.

Q: Did you perform for your family when you were a kid?

A: I was pretty funny and I had funny friends. I wanted to be funny because it got me attention. My first day in grade school I was plain scared. I left the comfort of my run-down house which I loved and went to school where it was cold, it smelled, the lighting was bad. So I went for humor to show I wasn't afraid.

Q: Who made you laugh?

A: I used to watch the sitcoms like Get Smart and The Mary Tyler Moore Show. Then, later on, Richard Pryor, Robert Klein, Albert Brooks. Then Alec Guinness and Peter Sellers. Then I got interested in doing it. I was in college and I started reading National Lampoon and thought that was hysterical. Being funny is also very attractive to women. It just is. If you're funny, you're in line.

Q: You weren't laughing much in high school, apparently. I read that you said you felt cheated because your teachers were a joke.

A: That probably was not exactly what I said. Maybe I did. I honestly didn't have many good teachers. And that's always been a disappointment to me. That, and whatever responsibility I didn't take myself for being a better student has always bothered me. I did well in grade school because I was scared--the nuns made me get good grades.

Q: The nuns were scary?

A: Very. They were angry and mean-spirited because they were frightened. Unfortunately a lot of religions are based on fear.

Q: What happened in high school?

A: That changed when I went to public school at 14. There were now girls and a wider variety of friends. I was more rambunctious. Anxiety started to creep in. High school wasn't bad but I wouldn't want those days back. I was on probation the first week for throwing an apple into a garbage can in the cafeteria. It was an amazing shot, the length of the cafeteria. I was so psyched that I threw both my arms up in the air and that's how I got caught. Everybody cheered and laughed. From that time on I wasn't a great student. Most of the time I was bored out of my mind.

Q: Where do you come from now? Architectural Digest put you on its cover showcasing your house in the Northwest. You've got this house in L.A....

A: I live here and I want to live there more. I've gone out of my way not to publicize where I live. The deal with Architectural Digest was they couldn't mention the state. Somewhere in the West is enough. There's a reason: you work this hard to get something, then people with cameras come into your driveway, or they send you mail--fuck that. I also have another house somewhere else in California. There are four different places that I hang.

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