Heather Locklear: The Heather on the Hill

The latest word, however, is that Locklear's cameo is all but MIA. "When I heard that Kathie Lee Gifford and Ivana Trump were in the film, I went, 'Maybe it's all worked out for the better,'" she philosophizes on barely surviving the final cut. "I have no choice but to think that way. Everybody's been telling me, 'Kevin Costner was cut out of The Big Chill.' and I'm like 'Oh, great--and how many more years did it take for him to make it?'"

Has Locklear hatched a five-year career plan to make the jump to the big screen? "No, I'm more a five-minute-plan girl," she quips. Still, 40 or 50 does await her if she stays in show business. What might she do? "Well, 40 or 50 is hardly old and Linda Evans and Joan Collins had careers then," she says of her onetime "Dynasty" costars. "But it is scary. On the other hand Angie Dickinson is very happening. I saw her at a Journey concert, bobbing her head and having a great time. She's a Libra, like I am, and they're the most fun. But every career has these slumps, like where you do a movie that just doesn't happen. I think of Meryl Streep and the time she had to move back here to Los Angeles again just to gel good work, which is so disgusting. You just have to learn from these careers."

In her next feature flick, Locklear's the girlfriend of Charlie Sheen in Money Talks, which she calls "a buddy-action-comedy in which I'm 'the girl,' not the 'buddy.'" Meaning she's the girl who stays behind while the boys get to do all the cool stuff? "Well. I've been sent a couple of new script drafts since the original one, but I haven't read the newest one," she admits. "I'll read it today. Hey, maybe I'm, like, not in it anymore? Anyway, I think I still play Charlie's fiancée. My character's father has lots and lots of money and Charlie and Chris Tucker go off and do buddy-action stuff, but Charlie's got to show up on time for our wedding to make me 'respectable.' See, I'm a little bit of a slut in the movie, which is going to be soooo hard for me, I just may have to do a lot of research. Hmmm, let's see. Just before I start the movie, Richie's going to be gone for two weeks..." She makes a playful face as if imagining exactly how much slut research she can cram into two weeks, then lets rip a playfully lascivious laugh.

How can she be shooting a feature while doing episodes of "Melrose Place"? Any truth to the story that producer Aaron Spelling rearranged the entire season's filming to accommodate her? "I think they moved around everyone's schedule to let Jack Wagner play a game of golf," she laughs. "They're really so nice and accommodating to all of us on the show if these scheduling things come up." She adds, "I can guarantee you I won't be cut out of this movie because I'm going to stay so close to Charlie in every single shot that they'd have to edit us both to cut me out." She mentions that she and Sheen first met 12 or so years ago when the actor visited friends on The Return of the Swamp Thing set. Any sparks? "I wasn't wearing a cheerleader's outfit," she says, "so he didn't come on to me even a little bit."

A Sheen epic is one thing, but if a top filmmaker gave her a shot at being front and center in an all-out sexy movie, a Basic instinct, say, would she do it? "Sharon Stone is awesome; she represents a real movie star to me. I know her from when she did a 'T.J. Hooker' episode and she was great. In Basic Instinct, the way she did everything was just great. You know what, though? I wouldn't like to be naked on top of someone stabbing him with an ice pick. I'd have been too inhibited and scared to do the weird things in it. Anyway, I wouldn't do nudity because my husband would die." After a beat, she adds, "My father would die, too."

Does it miff her that movie moneymen clamor for a Stone or a Demi Moore to bare their all for the camera, but don't ask the same of a Michael Douglas or a Mel Gibson, who've only shown off their rear ends? "Hey, I went to Striptease saying, 'Demi better show her breasts because I came here to see 'em,'" she admits, chuckling. "But this stuff is changing. Women are sexual creatures too, and if male stars are going to show their bodies in a movie, I say it better be someone like Kevin Costner. Drop trousers now, Kevin!" She considers this a moment, then amends her opinion. "Let me correct something. I'm married, so I don't really care to see Kevin Costners penis at this point. Although, if he wants to show it, I won't close my eyes."

If not in a Basic Instinct, then are there any dream roles at which she would have loved to have had a shot? "I'd love to remake Lady Sings the Blues," she quips, "except that I can't sing. But seriously, it's not as if my agents were calling me with great stuff that they turned down for me." Oh no? I've heard she's turned down a couple of high-visibility television movies, plus a couple of movie comedies opposite two well-known male stars trying to make the transition from TV to films. She won't confirm the specifics, but concedes. "When 'Melrose' got really big, J was dying to do a certain TV movie, but I had just had a divorce and had just gotten married. I turned stuff down, yes, but I'm actually glad at this point. I had to be with my husband; we really needed to make that connection. As for the features you mentioned, at this point, I don't want to be seen in connection with TV people, no. I have such a TV stereotype following me that I don't think people really want to see me jump right from TV to being the main person in a movie. I think being on 'Melrose Place' and getting the opportunity to do some small roles in films is cool. Even the things you see the 'Friends' people doing now? There's nothing wrong with that, but for me that's too big a leap. Maybe people will cut me some slack if I come up in little things."

All in all, Locklear seems to have tempered her career ambitions with a refreshing dose of realism. Since she seems so content, I ask her for her idea of heaven. "You go up and stay with God and there are lots of flowers, birds, bees," she says, staring out at the spectacular view outside her windows and adding: "You know, I almost think I'm already there. If only Richie were here and our house were a little higher."

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Stephen Rebello interviewed Richard Tyler for the September issue of Movieline.

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