Isaac Mizrahi: Isaac Does the Oscars

OK, while we're digressing, on whom might Mizrahi want to get his hands for a makeover, young or not so young? "I'd put Melanie Griffith on a macrobiotic diet," he asserts. "That girl just can't eat without showing yesterday's dinner on her face. She's one of those blondes who shows every single thing she eats. I would love to get a hold of Whitney Houston, too, so I could give her taste. She's ravishingly beautiful. I'd love to make Jodie Foster over so that she'd finally give us some of what she has hidden. I'd like to unleash some of her sexiness. I bet I could also really bring something out of Jessica Lange. No matter where she is in terms of her weight, hair or makeup doesn't matter, there's something essentially sexy about that woman and I bet I could make her a goddess."

Suddenly, Mizrahi's face lights up. "Oh. here's a Young Hollywood actress I would like to make over. The one with the beautiful smile that has big red hair. What's her name? I love her, but I've never liked any movie she's ever made. She was in Pretty Woman years ago?" Julia Roberts? "Yes! Boy, could I make her over. I'd really like to put her in clothes, dresses that meant something. She is fascinating because she looks so very different from anyone else whom we've considered beautiful. She could just break out in my clothes, that one."

Since Mizrahi has dissed and kissed a number of famous young Hollywood names, how would he say the young'uns, as a whole, have dressed themselves so far? The subject gets Mizrahi so fired up his eyes go diamond fierce, his American Spirit cigarettes stab the air, and his staccato speech fires off like darts. "Thank God they're just on the verge of beginning to take themselves seriously," he says. "Enough already with this kind of 'grungy kids' thing that is so tacky, so not-what's-going-on at all. I liked Clueless because it was all dressed up fancy and the kids all looked fantastic. They were thoughtful about hair, makeup and what they wore, you know? That's what's going to happen. Young Hollywood is going to be great as people begin to launch their own backlash against everybody going around with clothes that don't fit, hair a mess, bad teeth and skin. I mean, even I'm wearing suits more and more, so if I feel this way, maybe they do too. I want everyone to look neat now."

Since Mizrahi admits he's been watching Oscar shows on TV for as long as he can remember, what about sizing up the sartorial splendor of Hollywood men? "The bad stuff all comes out at the Oscars," he asserts. "The thing is, if you're going to look like a mess, look like a complete mess. But this 'interpretation' of a tuxedo is something I hate. Like Robert Downey Jr. He's so good-looking, but he makes she biggest mistakes, because he wears fashion when he should just wear clothes. It's like he's at a restaurant going, 'I'll do Japanese, I'll do French, I'll do Italian' all at once ' And the dark Italian suit or tux is such a disappointment -- so Eurocentric and un-American. It says, well, this is the best thing I could come up with. America is about casual clothes, that's our essence -- it's Fred Astaire making the casual look like the most elegant thing in the world."

"But let's name some contemporary names. Keanu Reeves I never got until I saw him in Speed. Then, it hit me right between the eyes. I say, 'What's better than Keanu Reeves on a bus? Keanu Reeves in a suit.' I'd put him in a tux from Savile Row. Offscreen, a turtleneck, a suit from Savile Row, a little jeans now and then, lots of soft-colored beige or brown tweeds. And then he'd become this gentleman -- it would be like, whoa, Keanu Reeves, 'Mystery Date.'" Brad Pitt? "He looks so good clean, groomed. It's probably harder when you're that good-looking to be disheveled and sloppy than to look neat as a pin." Jim Carrey? "I see right through that green body paint, right down to the core of that man. He's a major, major heartthrob. Him in English clothes? Anyway, I feel as though young men are going to want to try and look like Cary Grant again. I'd ship them all off to Savile Row, because I don't make men's clothes anymore. But when I do again, I'll be able to help these guys a lot."

A couple of guys, though, Mizrahi thinks don't need his help at all. "If anyone gets the whole deconstructive thing it's Johnny Depp," he says. "He and Kate Moss are bafflingly stylish. They don't think about it, they just do it. Another exception is Harrison Ford, who always looks best at the Oscars, because he always wears some amazing tuxedo, just a classic English Savile Row tuxedo. I was in Cannes over the summer for the opening of Unzipped and there was that incredibly handsome English actor. What's his name? The one who was involved in that big scandal? Hugh Grant, right. And it was so inspiring to see this young guy looking groomed and wearing this perfect tuxedo from Savile Row. Here's my tag line about all of this: 'The surest way to look old today is to dress young.' ''

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