Doing Jack

Q: What do you do in your spare time?

A: I paint, and mooch off my kids. I go from one to another so I don't have to pay for hotels, you know?

Q: You have a good time with your grandchildren?

A: Yeah, if they pay for dinner once in a while. There's no reason why they shouldn't pay.

Q: No, there's no excuse.

A: You've got to train them right in the beginning--even if you're only having an ice cream or a Popsicle with them.

Q: You haven't lost any of your hair. Do you have any secrets for hair care?

A: You wash every second day. How often do you wash? Every day?

Q: Yeah. Call me crazy. Let's talk about doing live TV in the '50s. When you did "Requiem for a Heavyweight" with Bert Lahr, that was one of your first dramatic roles, right?

A: You mean Ed Wynn.

Q: I meant, well, yes, I was just testing you.

A: I know.

Q: So, you do remember!

A: Bert Lahr?

Q: I mean Ed Wynn.

A: I would love to have worked with Bert, he was great. So was Ed Wynn. I love this story Ed's son, Keenan, told me about Ed. He was with his dad the night before he died and as he was leaving, his dad could barely speak, but he whispered, "Keenan, Keenan." And Keenan turned around. His dad said, "No George Jessel." He didn't want George Jessel to read his... what do you call it?

Q: I don't remember, I'm an actor. My brain's all fogged in.

A: Eulogy, that's it, eulogy. George Jessel read everybody's eulogy. Anyway, that's the last thing Ed ever said: "No George Jessel."

Q: What's the one question you wish an interviewer would ask? Not that I'm gonna ask you, I'm just asking.

A: How are your feet today? Because I'd say, "Lousy, thank you, they're lousy."

Q: So, how are your feet today?

A: Lousy, thank you, they're lousy. I have the, what do you call it, scourge? Maybe there's a doctor out there who can help.

Q: Well, it's been very nice talking to you.

A: Are you serious?

Q: Not really. Frankly, Jack, l think it's lucky for you we never met in the ring.

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