Drew Barrymore: Drew Grit

And what's it like not only to have her rent paid, but also to be an international sex kitten? "That campaign changed my life. Now, half of my work is film, the other half print ads. I asked Paul Marciano, the owner of the company, 'Your models are six feet tall, drop-dead gorgeous and weigh two pounds. Why me?' He just said, 'You have the right feel, the right look.' Oh, yeah? So, I walked into a meeting with the whole creative team when I was broken out in an allergic reaction. They were looking me over, like, You're scary. Anyway, I couldn't believe it when they showed me the picture of Werner, my co-star, because I had actually met him when I was 13, and I said, 'You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life.' I hadn't seen him in three years because he was living in Paris. I requested him on both shoots I've done so far, because he's so goofy and wonderful, which makes it fantastic when you have to sit there every day for about a week and a half with your faces positioned like you're kissing each other. Your neck gets really sore and you're, like, omigod, do I have bad breath?"

So, with all the added exposure, how is Drew really doing these days? "For many years, I was so unhappy. I would have moments of happiness, but, for the most part, I was always down on myself. I felt completely alone for so many years. Growing up, I didn't know that the key to my happiness was myself. Right now, I'm the happiest I've ever been. I wake up with a sense of ease of pain, of fulfillment, but not loneliness. There are certain parts of my life that are totally confused, but that's everybody. It's strange. I'm like, 'Why am I so happy?' I'm loving the fact that I get to work. My career is going really well. I'm enjoying life because I have friends and I have work in the most inconsistent profession you can have."

Drew tells me about her journals. She grabs one, showing me pages of flowers, rappers' phone numbers, Polaroids of actor Balthazar Getty's hounds, rubber stamps of daisies and butterflies, postcards from her friends. As she thumbs through the pages, out drop a couple of hundred dollar bills which she shrugs away.

She offers to read me some of her pensees. "These are all the words I love," she says. "Hope and daisies, the sun, prayer, laughter, strength, nature, kissing, the rain, cigarettes, feelings, spirituality, the sky, bubbles, pot, religion, fire, water, holding hands, praying, searching, finding." And this poem: "Love is ... the sunshine, someone's hand to hold, the life that keeps us warm, the arrow that points us all in the right direction, ice cream, knowledge, strength, something or someone to cherish, good friends, hope--because we all hope to be loved. Love is what we all hope to give and receive. Love is good music, laughter, peace, comfort, fulfillment when you're in need."

Not to get too mundane, but, in Barrymore's daisy world, is love ever a juicy romantic lead role in a movie? Or, better yet, in real life? "I know what you mean," she says, laughing. "I haven't done much of that. I mean, in movies, I've kissed Sara Gilbert in Poison Ivy, which was kinda fun, because you just don't see that often, you know? Even in Basic Instinct, they never showed women really making out."

Who would she like to kiss on-screen? "Johnny Depp's about as cute as they come, with that very beautiful mouth. It's, ooooooooh, like a little bow, a rose. Christian's cute. It's strange. I don't think that many boys are cute. Boys, boys, boys, boys. I don't know about 'em. I haven't been with anybody in so long, part of me is so not focused. If I see a cute boy, I'm like, 'Oh, he's cute,' and it goes in and out of my mind. I'm a little worried about what I'm saying. Why don't I think anybody is cute?"

Well, she did think somebody was at least cute enough to get engaged to--James Walters, who was the star of the short-lived "The Heights." "Actors scare me," she snaps at the mention of Walters. "I thought that my life was becoming a fairy tale and then, boom, one day, it's not happening. We were oh-so-happy, the first time in my life that I felt that kind of safety and happiness with another human being, the first time in my life that I let my walls down with a man. Which made me all the more vulnerable. So I'm the ultimate cynic now: Love sucks. I was not the one who did the leaving. I went through an incredible amount of pain over that relationship. I've only gone on one or two dates since [Walters] and they were absolute disasters. The person I thought was my great love, wasn't. Boys. They're totally confusing to me. You think that they're on one track and then--" she makes the sound of screeching breaks, smashing fenders "--they're zooming off on another track. And you're like, 'I'm sooooo confused.' Oh, my God, Steve, let's sing 'Cry Me a River.'"

So we do, making it a good, mournful shout for the crimes and glories we've committed in the name of love. "I'm such a total drama queen and I love to get into the agony of it. Fuck it. If you're gonna go through it, you might as well milk it every once in a while, right? Have a really good cry."

It's not like Drew has had sterling role models in the area of romance. For instance, how are things with her wild-child father, former actor John Drew Barrymore, who has a penchant for traveling shoeless, keeping no particular address, and tripping to his own private drummer? "When I was younger, I thought he was crazy," Drew admits about the son of legendary star John Barrymore. "Now, I think it's the grooviest thing ever. You can't put him in a nutshell, he's so many different people. If I truly need him, I can find him. He'll leave me a message on my machine every couple of months. 'Daughter, it's father. I'm out living life. I'm looking at a tree right now.' Oh, yeah? Go hug it, dad, you big hippie!" Her eyes well with love. And her mother, Jaid, who raised her? "I haven't seen her in over a year," she answers in a tone that says this is just fine with her.

I wonder if Drew feels any nervousness, considering all the hassles on her last movie, about her next, Boys on the Side? After all, she'll be working with Whoopi Goldberg and director Herbert Ross, whom some consider to be very tough birds. "I did get a little nervous," she admits, "especially after going through what we did on Bad Girls. I decided to back out of Boys on the Side as discreetly, kindly and professionally as I could. Herbert would not take it. I got scared. Oh no, I thought, I've pissed him off. But he said, 'You're the only one I want for this part.' I was so flattered by how much he wanted me that it was one of the bigger compliments I've ever received. I feel like we're gonna work incredibly well together." I tell her I'll check back with her on that one.

Did she have to run the gauntlet with the studio, Warner Bros., to snag this role, too? "I think 1993 is the last year that I had to deal with that kind of bullshit. But if anyone's watching to see if I 'go Hollywood,' that's not going to happen. Because of all the things that have happened in my career, up and down, I'll never take things for granted. I know what it's like to feel, to see, to know that I might never work again. Now I treat every movie, every opportunity, as if it's the last one I'm gonna do." And, does the woman who once announced to the business, "I'm back!" care to broadcast a new message? She slowly straightens herself in her seat, smiles triumphantly, makes sure the tape recorder is running and exclaims, "The sky's the limit!"

______________

Stephen Rebello interviewed Nicole Kidman for the March Movieline.

Pages: 1 2 3