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Meh Shot: Tom Cruise Breaks Bones in Jack Reacher Teaser Trailer

Jack Reacher teaser - Tom Cruise

Oh, what a coincidence! Here comes the trailer for Tom Cruise's Jack Reacher (formerly One Shot), the action film based on a novel by Lee Child that stars the soon-to-be-divorcé as an ex-army cop who apparently drives around town in muscle cars getting into fights. The kind of angry, controlled rage-machine who gets into brawls, specializes in strategically breaking bones, asks questions later, etc. The badass clothing doesn't quite fit on Cruise, but you know. He's Tom Cruise.


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Plot is incidental to this first tease of a trailer, which sets up the eponymous loner-hero in mythic terms. "There's this guy," bandaged beaten up hospital guy says. "He doesn't care about proof. He doesn't care about the law. He only cares about what's right."

Then comes that reedy Cruise voice to ruin it all: "You think I'm a hero? I am not a hero. And if you're smart, that scares you." Well, I guess I'm not smart. Because, yeah. Yawn.

I'm not one of those folks hung up on how wrong Cruise is for the role, physically speaking, though Reacher's dimensions (posted helpfully at Child's website) do make you wonder which actors out there might have fit the bill a little better:

Measurements: 6'5", 220-250 lbs., 50" chest
Hair: Dirty-blond
Eyes: Ice blue
Clothing: 3XLT coat, 95 cm. pants' inseam

It's not even that Cruise isn't the physical ideal for Reacher. The wandering ex-military bruiser with no regard for the law doesn't really sit well on him. But we shall see; with writer-director Christopher McQuarrie (The Usual Suspects, The Way of the Gun) behind the camera, Josh Olson (A History of Violence) on scripting duties, and Werner Herzog playing baddie, there's enough promise left in this thing.

Still, while a lot of folks are getting a Drive vibe from this, I get more of a Gone in 60 Seconds feel — the middle-aged action hero wearing leather jackets, racing around in classic cars, lounging around with hot ladies in their underwear. It already feels like the mid-life crisis wish-fulfillment movie of the year for older dudes.

Verdict: Unless the next batch of trailers really wow me, I'm only hanging in for the Herzog.

[via Yahoo!]