Children of the '90s were aghast to hear there was a live-action Captain Planet film reboot in the works, courtesy of the producers behind the Transformers movies. Even the good people at Funny or Die took heed, making their own version of what a live-action Captain Planet movie would look like... if Don Cheadle (in horrifying blue face paint and the Captain's trademark green mullet) played the part of the eco-friendly superhero, with folks like Brenda Song and Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite onboard as his multi-culti band of annoying young do-gooders.
It all starts out innocently enough. The Planeteers summon Captain Planet to help stop evil loggers from cutting down the forest. But before you know it, people are turning into trees and Captain Planet's hump-blasting his way through a magical murder spree in the name of environmental justice. If only the Captain Planet movie turned out like this!
(Also: Cheers to Efren Ramirez for so closely conveying everything that was always so damn annoying about the "heart" kid.)
• Don Cheadle is Captain Planet [ Funny or Die]