Movieline

Shocking New Ads Link Youthful Trampoline-Jumping to Scientology

It's recruiting season again at the Church of Scientology, where three stylish new TV spots make all the drama of life -- including love, chocolate and "kids on trampolines" -- seem insurmountable without the aid of a gauzy camera filter and, I presume, a dogeared copy of Dianetics on your nightstand. But is Hollywood's greatest indigenous religion pushing the wrong message? Are paper clips really a gateway office supply to OT-VIII glory? Judge for yourself and join the debate after the jump.

As noted at The Live Feed, the Church's TV presence no doubt required some updating; the staid, infamous "Volcano" spot had gone out of style probably around the same time as leg warmers. (And 3 a.m. Battlefield Earth reruns don't count.) The glossy new commercials eschew all that old stuff, opting instead for quick-cut, multi-ethnic youth and beauty -- kind of like a bank ad, come to think of it, which I suppose makes sense under the circumstances. Except this bank will dry your tears, fix your love life, and lead you straight to "the truth." And Xenu won't go hat-in-hand lobbying Congress for a bailout. Does this stuff sell itself, or what?

ยท Church of Scientology [via The Live Feed]