Say what you will about James Cameron’s epic 1997 romance Titanic, but everyone in the universe has seen it, sniffled at it, or at least has had its iconic moments indelibly seared into their brains. (Don’t even get me started on the soul-piercing power of “My Heart Will Go On.”) When it comes to Titanic fandom, 15 years of romantic obsession plus the internet have yielded quite the bounty of fan-made Titanic creations. Naturally, with Titanic 3-D steering towards theaters this week, Movieline searched near, far, and all across YouTube in search of the best of them.
Go in search of Titanic fan videos and you’ll find more than your fill of amateur home video reenactments and remixes. Apparently anyone with a camera who’s gone on a cruise in the years since Titanic has done some measure of the “I’m the king of the world!” while running around the lido deck (and who can blame them). But not many folks have turned their Titanic obsessions into cats-singing-Celine Dion videos, tributes in LEGO, or… well, just scroll down to countdown to what’s probably the best (and inevitably creepy) Titanic fan clip of all time.
Titanic II: If Jack Had Lived
It's the number one fantasy among Titanic romantics: What if Jack had lived? Why did he have to die, dammit! WHY DID ROSE LET GO?? In this fantasy mash-up of Titanic and 2008's Revolutionary Road, which reunited Leonardo Di Caprio and Kate Winslet onscreen, Jack and Rose walk off the Titanic and go on to become miserable suburban marrieds… if only they could get away to Paris, to Jack's old stomping grounds, like they’d once dreamed!
Further viewing: Titanic vs. Inception, which illustrates the popular idea that Jack Dawson didn't freeze to death one that one fateful night... but rather woke up on the beach years later in Inception.
Dead Cat Orchestra – My Heart Will Go On
Celine Dion's heart-wrenching love ballad... as sung by two mewling dying cats. Also see: Cat-Tanic.
That one Hanson music video
I vaguely remembered this momentous meeting of Titanic's Gloria Stuart, Hanson, and Weird Al from Hanson's pop culture crossroads. "I'll never forget that night... it was right after I got my Hanson tattoo!" Sorry for this one.
Lego Titanic 3D trailer spoof
There are a lot of terrible Titanic LEGO videos on the internet, kids, but this one keeps it short and sweet.
My Fart Will Go On
The iconic spitting scene, Terrance & Phillip-style. An instant classic.
Jordy Joe – "Titanic Rap"
A rap song told from the perspective of Jack by a nice looking young MC sipping white wine by candlelight? Swoon away, ladies. Bonus: Jordy Joe-as-Jack totally forgives you for hogging the floating door. "If I could I'd go back to the beginning/And do it all over but, just practice my swimming."
Alex’s Sims 2 – Titanic
The hands-down winner, the best Titanic video of all time forever: Titanic retold, almost shot for shot, entirely in the style of The Sims. Watch Creepy Sims Jack take Creepy Sims Rose to the garage for the infamous car love scene at 3:00, but fair warning: You may be scarred for life. YouTube user Iluvcats4 AKA Alexandra since replaced her terrifying Jack with a new model, FWIW -- but to be clear, this is still insanely impressive, time-intensive work here.
In any case, “Put your hands on me Jack” will never be the same.
UPDATE: On Ben Pearson's recommendation, I'll add this 2006 gem to the mix: An exceptionally well-edited fan trailer for "Titanic: The Sequel," in which Jack's frozen body is revived in the present day, where he must re-adjust to life in modern times.
That said, Sims Titanic still has my heart. I'll never, ever let go of Creepy Sims Jack -- and so I leave you with this indelible, unmistakable last image.