I honestly have no idea where 2011 went. I vaguely remember what follows here. There might have been more. You tell me.
The Animated Oscar Index
Currently in the middle of its second annual cycle, the Oscar Index is, to me, the story of the film industry's awards race. But despite the tens of thousands of words expended every year, nothing quite sums it up like animated videos of celebrity heads floating inexorably toward golden glory. Drinking adds much to the experience, I've found.
I Hate Brangelina: An Appreciation
They're mega-glamorous, mega-rich and mega-talented. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie would make me sick if they didn't make me so goddamned happy.
The $11 Question
The Worst Movie EVER! dazzled everyone by enticing one solitary ticketbuyer to its debut in Los Angeles. The rest is history. Well, kind of. Anyway, this is the story of whatever the hell happened.
Consider Uggie
The last time someone wore a fur coat in a do-it-yourself Oscar campaign, Melissa Leo won Best Supporting Actress. Imagine what we can do for someone who deserves a statuette!
Lumet Life Lessons
The late Sidney Lumet was often called a humanist filmmaker, but what does that actually mean? Hint: It's not because he directed The Wiz. Parsing out some touchstones of his philosophy amounted to one of the more satisfying exercises of the year.
Collect Them All!
If nothing else, Jacki Weaver's Awards-Season Trading Card made four weeks of ridiculous design labor worth it.
The "Should I See The Smurfs?" Flow-Chart Review
Behold the future of film criticism! Also: I am so sorry.
Fair is Fair
For the second time in three films, Marshall Curry is once again among the documentarians on the Oscar-consideration bubble. Get used to it -- and here's why.
Big "Will He?" Style
Despite all the trade gossip and fanboy chatter, Will Smith remains no closer to making any of the projects listed on this year's list of Smith films you'll likely never see. Brush up here, and place your updated 2012 bets accordingly.
The Celibate Screen
I stand by my airtight case for less sex at the movies. That is all.
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