A handful of online press got a sneak peek at Paramount's Transformers: Dark of the Moon the other day, complete with face time with Michael Bay himself. Alas, Movieline was not in attendance, so we'll have to take these other folks' word for it and assume Transformers 3 could be the balls-out, insane, eyeball-searing giant robot war movie to end all giant robot war movies! Right, guys?!
Well sure, it looks that way now, months away from actual full-length film screenings when all there is to go on are edit suite footage presentations and Michael Bay's dulcet voice telling us Transformers: Dark of the Moon will be epicly epic. So without further ado, bring on the quotables quiz -- in which you, dear reader, weed actual press reactions from fake ones, a la Movieline's patented Gwyneth Paltrow test.
1. "This time out, Bay is making a full-blown alien invasion movie that just happens to use Autobots and Decepticons, and the result looks like the craziest action movie ride this summer."
2. "Dare I say that the visuals outdo some of the more mind-perplexing stuff we saw in Inception."
3. "Takes the intrigue of the teaser trailer plus the intensity from the action-packed 30-second Super Bowl spot and adds enough mind-blowing, mesmerizing robotgasm goodness to leave even the most passive of fans slack-jawed."
4. "Craaaazy."
5. "[On Transformers 2] You don't make that much money on a movie, and it doesn't become number one in the American box office that year, if people hated the movie. You know what I'm saying?"
Answers on page 2...
Gotcha! They're all actual quotes. (ANSWERS: 1. HitFix, 2. Slashfilm, 3. MTV, 4. Entertainment Weekly, 5. Michael Bay himself.) And with the exception of Bay's sorta-defense of Transformers 2, they come straight from the keyboards of well-known online writers who surely brought with them a healthy skepticism following the last Transformers sequel -- as everyone will when Dark of the Moon opens July 1. (In fairness, click on links below for each site's full take on the material shown.)
So will Dark of the Moon actually make the right corrections to the franchise with what sounds like a more mature, even more destructive action adventure -- in 3-D? Your chance to start seeing for yourself is night, as the first trailer is set to play in 2-D in front of Fast Five and in 3-D attached to Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.
[via Slashfilm, HitFix, MTV, Entertainment Weekly]