God has not responded to repeated requests for comment or clarification, but that didn't stop the amateur theologians at ML HQ from interpreting the Lohan scenario through a more spiritual lens. What could God's "big plan" for Lindsay Lohan be, anyway? A few rough ideas to start with:
· Playing Daisy Buchanan in Uwe Boll's adaptation of The Great Gatsby
· Starring in Groupon's next superbly received Super Bowl commercial.
· A position in Egypt's eventual new Cabinet
· The endangered female lead in Sanctum II: The Rising
· Crack
· A trip to Glamour Shots followed by her own "Consider... Lindsay Lohan" casting campaign
· Developing the wildly successful (if not quite lucrative) perfume brand 4 Kleptoz
· Hosting the Oscars
· Imminent incarceration, penury and abjection
Other ideas?
· Lindsay Lohan's Mom Isn't Worried: 'God Has a Plan' [PopEater]