I know. As you dragged yourself out of bed this morning and went for the Asprin, one burning question clawed it's way through the post-superbowl haze: "Did I drink way too many beers or was that Transformers 3 spot actually kind of awesome?" It's actually a fair question! Now, since all fifteen movie advertisements that aired last night are online, let's take a sober look at each one and see how they fair on the Movieline Super Bowl Ad Report Card.
Transformers: The Dark of the Moon
Wow. Just when I thought there was absolutely no way that people would be tricked into shelling out money for another two-and-a-half hour assault on coherence, eardrums and intelligence, this slick promo actually got even me a little pumped.
Grade: A
Super 8
Based on the music and the storyline of this preview, you may have also wondered this morning whether Steven Spielberg commissioned an action-packed remake of E.T. from J.J. Abrams. Upon closer inspection, this is actually a new movie...I think?
Grade: C
Captain America
I guess we'll curve this one a bit since it's the first real footage we've seen from the movie at all. And yet, I'm not sure what to say about it. It looks like it will have action, some attempts at humor and no surprising stylistic choices. At the very least, it probably didn't kill the dreams of anyone who was already excited about the movie.
Grade: B-
Thor
Pretty much the same story as Captain America, except with more creatures and a slightly more muddled style. I know Shakespeare savant Kenneth Branagh has the reigns here, but I still haven't seen evidence that he brought anything groundbreaking to the genre.
Grade: C
Cowboys and Aliens
Some clever editor found a way to sneak in some footage of Olivia Wilde naked here! Otherwise, this ad for this apparently very serious film about cowboys fighting aliens wasn't anywhere near as effective as the first trailer.
Grade: C
Fast 5
I feel like the music should have been much louder in this trailer.
Grade: C+
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
This one looks like a welcome return to the humor and adventure that first made the series popular. On the other hand, it's twice as long as most of the other spots, which doesn't bode well for the whole economy-of-story thing.
Grade: B
Rango
This spot gives a nice feel for the movie's tone without using it's entire running time to flash-cut a billion images together. Nice work.
Grade - B+
Rio
As far as CGI animal movies that begin with the letter "R" go, Rango looks much better.
Grade: C-
Battle: Los Angeles
Nothing new here, but this alien invasion-flick still looks solid. If it's not broken, don't fix it.
Grade: B
Drive Angry 3-D
Just what a 3-D action movie about Nicolas Cage escaping from hell needed: Critical review blurbs!
Grade: C+
Limitless
It seems like they could have gone a much more creative route here and perhaps made another fake advertisement? Instead the marketing team went with this bland spot that just made me wonder why we still haven't gotten a White Noise adaptation.
Grade: D
Priest
A few points for the ironic Depeche Mode song used in what looks like another man-fights-God's army movie from Legion director Scott Charles Stuart. Not enough sad faces though.
Grade: C-
The Adjustment Bureau
Is this movie actually coming out? Anyway, here's more of the same footage that we've been seeing in previews for what feels like two years.
Grade: D
Just Go with It
Weird. I could have sworn this was a beer commercial. Apparently it's an ad for the new Adam Sandler movie? I still find this very strange.
Grade: F