Charlie Sheen Says, Don't Worry Guys, I Can Totally Handle My Hookers And Blow

Sending text messages to Radar editor Dylan Howard, Charlie Sheen has broken his silence just as he "voluntarily" heads into drug rehab. And for a guy that had to have emergency hospitalization after days of non-stop cocaine use, Charlie's certainly putting on a sunny face.

"I'm fine," Sheen claimed and called his (unnamed) detractors " a bunch of turds." Sheen also lamented that folks have been making such a fuss after his lil' ol' (alleged!) drug and porn binge, texting "People don't seem to get it.... Guy can't have a great time and do his job also?"

Yeah, guys! Can't a fella have a non-stop marathon of smoking and snorting a briefcase full of blow, all the while surrounded by a bevy of similarly coked-out whores and porn stars? And if that same good-time gentleman happens to be rushed to the hospital and treated for anemia, dehydration and an ulceration, can't we just recognize that he'll be fine come Monday? Geez! I mean, we've all been there! Allegedly!

Honestly, America, he says he'll be fine, what more could we possibly need??

· EXCLUSIVE: Charlie Sheen Breaks Silence, Tells Radar: 'I'm Fine... People Don't Seem To Get It' [Radar]