Ever since Cloverfield turned out not to be about a fictional soft drink called "Slusho" that turns people into giant monsters, I've had a hard time getting into this whole "viral marketing" thing. But at least the delivery of these new Paranormal Activity 2 promo clips was inventive: Several journalists at Fantastic Fest found mysterious thumb drives containing creepy promo videos for the film on their doorstep, in their mailbox, and even in their pocket. Now that we've got all six together, it's time to make long-shot predictions about the movie based solely on each clip. Join me in analyzing blurry security camera footage and demon hijinks after the jump. Contributions welcome as always!
Clip 1:
Prediction: Paranormal Activity 2 will feature some boring scenes that make the real scares hit harder. Here, a dad tucks in the baby, the baby sleeps, and the dog decides to go to another room. If the fast-cut is supposed to be a jump in time, it suggests that eventually, someone will also take the baby out of the crib.
Clip 2:
Prediction: This looks like a pretty cut-and-dry case of a demon abducting a baby, so most likely the baby is now in Hell. The baby's parents will have to brave the torturous inferno to rescue their child. They will bring a home video camera for the journey.
Clip 3:
Prediction: This clip clearly indicates that the sequel will mix things up by cutting between the point of view of a security camera and the point of view of the family dog's imagination.
Clip 4:
Prediction: In that genetically-engineered killer shark movie Deep Blue Sea, the scientists finally realize they're dealing with real super sharks when they see one of them swimming backward. The same goes for babies: Normal babies can't crawl backward. So perhaps we are actually looking at a demonic variation of Baby Geniuses.
Clip 5:
Prediction: This actually gives even more credence to my Baby Geniuses theory. Here we see the demon teaching the baby to walk. Scary stuff.
Clip 6:
Prediction: Paramount will release the real title to this film later in October: Paranormal Activity 2: Rise of the Aqua Demon.