The MTV Video Music Awards are on Sunday, and you know what that means: celebrity swag suites the day before, woo! Wait. Are you saying that tomorrow is 9/11, the solemn anniversary of the worst terror attack ever committed on American soil? Hmm, how can celebrities feel good about picking up free sunglasses and liposuction gift certificates with that looming over their heads? Here is the terrible, terrible answer.
The following are excerpts from a real press release that made its way into the Movieline inbox this morning:
Just a reminder about the MTV VMA "Remembering 9/11" Celebrity Gift Retreat today and tomorrow in Beverly Hills anytime between 12pm - 5pm.
For each celeb that attends, Platinum Publicity is donating money to the "9/11 Fund".
Expected celebrity guests (partial):
The cast of the Bachelor Pad (most TODAY 12:30pm), (Gia Alleman, Wes, Natalie Getz, Kypton Locke, Tenley, Jesse Kovacs, Krissily, Peyton, Juan etc), Mike "The Situation", J-Woww, Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola, Stephanie Pratt, Tori Spelling & Dean McDermott, Levi Johnston, Rachel Uchitel
Here is where you must come to your own conclusion, Dear Reader. Is it admirable that this celebrity gift retreat is at least giving some sort of undefined donation to a 9/11 fund, and that supercedes the total ickiness of this entire press release?
Or is it totally jarring to see the words "9/11" and "Celebrity Gift Retreat" mashed together, to realize that only celebrities* who can give the gift retreat more press are worthy of a charitable donation that the stars aren't even making themselves, or that Levi Johnston is going to join his estranged sorta in-law Sarah Palin in making a mint off this 9/11 anniversary?
I cede the floor to you.
* And I don't mean to be harsh to this gift retreat's fuzzy definition of "celebrities," because even women only famous for sleeping with Tiger Woods deserve to feel that by picking up elephant tusk nose cream for free, they have somehow saved the ghost of a heroic 9/11 firefighter.