Yesterday, Movieline fave Adam Scott took the bold step of guaranteeing via Twitter that anyone who didn't enjoy Piranha 3D would receive a house call from the actor. Today, Scott gave Vanity Fair a little bit of clarification: "I really don't think it will be necessary, since I can't imagine one not being satisfied with Piranha 3D, but just in case, yes of course I will be there." Really? With what stipulations?
"Few things: Will need the aforementioned firearm and fish. Will also need local Elisabeth Shue look-alike to run dialogue with, a plaid shirt, two high-fives (one before we run the scenes, one after), peanut M&M's, a map with the closest Red Roof Inn circled on it (I won't be staying there, I just like knowing where it is. I'll be staying with you), a 700-word essay on why you neglected to recognize that Piranha 3D totally f**king shreds, Perrier, a quick guitar lesson, one grenade, dinner with your family, and directions to the airport."
Oh, Adam Scott: Why are you so funny? While you ponder that, The Weinstein Company is already planning on using Scott's "totally f**king shreds" line as a centerpiece to the post-opening weekend marketing campaign.
ยท Is 'Piranha 3D' the Most Bloody Movie Ever? (And 24 Other Urgent Questions) [VF/Little Gold Men]