· "If I ever found myself in that tent in a blowing cold mountain top on what could very well have been the last night of my life? And if I were a Teenage Girl.... I'd totally be all about that doggy & diamond double dicking!"
· "There wasn't a girl in my theater tonight that wasn't wondering if the diamond sprinkled vampire skin would be more like the pyrex dildo or the cyberskin one?"
· "And the team Jacob girls [fantasizing about sex] with the German Shepard.... mmhmmm, you know it."
· "[Bella's father is] kinda freaking out, because he doesn't know how to act about it, because he looks at Robert Pattinson's Edward and he can't imagine the teenage girl in him f**king that."
· "Bella is putting out f**k me pheromones like a bitch in heat - and Jacob's doggy sensitive nose can not stay out of her crack. He might be 'talking' about her 'heartbeat stopping,' but what he really wants is that hymen. HE KNOWS IT!"
· "Just look at [Jacob's] pert always hard boy nipples? They're just so amazingly in focus. They're just asking to be nuzzled at the very least."
· "This is absolutely better than WOLVERINE was... a bit gayer, but ya know... there's some cool f**king action, way cuter girls... well, way cuter guys too, if that like makes you questionable curious or not, might be up to your on threshold for thinking about wonder what it'd be like..."
· "I can go home, tell my wife I'd totally do '______' with you... And I'll get laid tonight. Seriously, that's the kind of f**king date you have tonight."
· "The future of your dick is on the line here. GO and it will be yours."
Harry says that ECLIPSE is the first fully complete film of the TWILIGHT series... well, almost. [AICN]