Tonight, MTV premieres its sixth and final season of The Hills, an iteration that the network has mercilessly teased as the franchise's cattiest and teariest yet. But before we waste an entire season hoping that Speidi divorces, Audrina finds a boyfriend that is not a complete parasite and a cast member battles an actual addiction that is not plastic surgery-related, let's remember back, way back, to when the show had a heart. Cue the milky dissolve.
1. Nuclear New Year's Eve (Season 1, "Somebody Always Has To Cry")
Back in the very first season of The Hills, LC was dating Jason Wahler, the show's original deadbeat boyfriend. Jason cheated on LC, convinced her to forfeit that once-in-a-lifetime Teen Vogue internship for him and would go on to be arrested for multiple DUIs. Oh, and he also ruined her New Year's Eve by passive aggressively suggesting the couple break up. Lauren responded like any self-respecting reality star by taking her camera crew, hopping in a cab and crying the whole way home. Heidi was such a good BFF back then that she also cut her night short to comfort her friend.
Emoti-Rating: 4
Full episode available here. The drama begins at 13:30.
2. The Tears of Speidi (Season 2, "Who Do You Trust?")
If this clip does not make you yearn for the days when Lauren and Heidi were best friends, then you are probably heartless. During the Hills' second season, Heidi began to date her future husband only to realize very quickly that he was actually a dog who flirts with Playboy models.
Emoti-Rating: 8
Full episode available here. To see Spencer's true colors, begin the clip at 14:30. The tears begin at 18:47.
3. The Triple Whammy (Season 4, "I Heidi Take Thee Spencer")
In addition to boasting tears from two different sisters, both shaken up over the impending Speidi marriage, this clip includes catty insults, rolled eyes and bulldozed emotions. While Holly Montag gets slightly emotional as she delivers the most passive-aggressive speech in all of rehearsal dinner history, the drunken waterworks finale start after minute 4. "I didn't realize that we were dining with like, the king and queen."
Emoti-Rating: 10!
4. Surprise Birthday Tears (Season 5, "Don't Cry On Your Birthday")
Last season, Heidi showed up uninvited to Lauren's surprise birthday party and cornered the birthday girl, hoping that the two could repair their damaged relationship.
Emoti-rating: 6
Full episode available here. The teary interaction begins at 17:30.
5. Something Blue (Season 5, "Something Old, Something New")
For Speidi's third wedding, old BFF Lauren decided to take the high road by attending her former best friend's wedding.
Emoti-rating: 9
Full episode available here. The tenderness begins at 30:30.