Awww, yeah. Time to quote the One Day at a Time theme song: This is it! Project Runway concluded last night and chose a winner among its three remaining contestants. Take your pick: Is it the cartwheeling manchild who's mistakable for the most ecstatic Panic At the Disco roadie ever? The hard-smirking headmistress with bangs like an '80s topiary? Or the unsmiling train conductor who does not want directions to the Gunn show? After the jump, we analyze Seth Aaron, Mila, and Emilio's final Bryant Park collections, make fun of it all, and reveal the champion at post's end.
Seth Aaron
The Good
Checkered suits and royal-red detailing: Yep, Seth Aaron writes sins, not tragedies, in case you forgot. These two look like playing card characters, and I'm in love. There's the four of spades and jack of diamonds, strutting right out of Hoyle's special edition "Ferocious!" deck for the LGBT community. While Nina Garcia was correct to note Seth Aaron's sometimes-costumey aesthetic (and Mila was onto something with her snipe-y "Hot Topic" comment), the exuberance in his detailing, print choices, and silhouettes remain timeless and clever. I mean, that left-hand look? Flawless. I'm not positive what to make of the sleeves on the right-hand harlequin, but I do know her overall look is tart and fantastical. Two of a kind, indeed!
The Not-So-Good
Here we have a clunker and a Hefty Bag with showbiz ambitions. Not only is the royal purple a mysteriously ill-fitting hue for Seth Aaron's collection, but the multiple leather bands and fabric poofs destroy this girl's figure. She looks like a Clue mansion candlestick. As if the grandiosity alone wasn't hitting us over the head! Regarding Hefty! The Musical! on our right, it aims for showstopping and becomes the most forgettable piece in the collection. It's back to Allentown for that failed ingenue.
Mila
The Good
Let's pretend for a second that Mila's colorless style and jagged textures aren't a little diagnosable. Take a minute, actually. And we're back. Maybe it was the harsh styling or the wannabe Goldfrapp jam pumping through the amps, but Mila's best looks felt nervy and glamorous. I'd hate to say it, but I agreed with guest judge Faith Hill: The look on the left is chic. Just the right balance of coldness and lightness, the modern and the mod. The right-hand look is the collection's signature: heavy outerwear paired with patterned monochrome. Mila claims she's inspired by shadows, but I think she means rain-drenched crossword puzzles.
The Not-So-Good
Michael Kors declared Mila's experiments with sheen great successes. Have to disagree with the Umber Umpire. That pelt of lacquered Velcro on the left look? The cliched undulations of look two? They don't achieve the stark, urbane elegance of her best work. She should've engaged more print medleys -- some of her stripes and crisscrossing diagonals challenged season-six winner Irina Shebayeva's genius print skills in quality. And they didn't look like Velcro swatches, which is important to some people.
Emilio
Yes, the more ornate looks in Emilio's collection could belong to your hot-to-trot great aunt. The one who storms through your front door too early for Easter dinner and proclaims, "I'm a happenin' old b*tch!" And she's been in an accident at some point, we think. But goofy color choices aside, Emilio reworked classic sportswear shapes to great avail. The muddy-olive coat could belong to a blithe Mad Men secretary, and that cyan coat has a very striking and flattering silhouette. (Christ, I'm agreeing with Faith Hill again).
One color Emilio did not need to explore so much was this dank brown -- an off-roadin' hybrid of Tonka and U.S. Army palettes. I respectfully call the woman on the left a backhoe. And the red gloves paired with her drab frock are nothing but compensatory, no doubt about it. The right-hand gown combines elements seen elsewhere in the show, including that chain belt, but man. I disagree with Michael Kors again -- she looks like a runaway from Mychael Knight's tacky season-four collection, or a "glamorous" hostess from Donald Trump's '90s game show Trump Card. Either way, she's in dubious, freakishly sparkly company.
Next: The winner revealed!
And Seth Aaron takes it all! Yah-Ha! Emilio takes second and Mila goes home with the bronze.
Ahem: OF COURSE. Mila wasn't going to win it with her expected melange of grays, stripes, blacks, and whites, and Emilio's collection veered from his penchant for form-hugging gowns. Seth Aaron was the only contestant to gently expand upon his aesthetic, which is what the judges always love. He gave us vibrancy and severity, color and darkness, and a soupçon of the outrageous. You could compare him to season three's Jeffrey Sebelia that way, and not just because they're straight dudes with zipper fetishes. Sigh. And now he's clutching his top hat and glitter-belt like it's 2006, pop bands look like cute Anne Rice creations, and we've never even heard
of Christian Siriano. Well done, ringmaster! Sorry, Mila and Emilio, you'll have to continue dressing like minor characters in Lipstick Jungle and Rent at a budget of under $100,000.
Hope you've enjoyed this season's Runway recaps. They're the only things I've ever loved, so humor me. Coming up: We interview Seth Aaron, Mila, and Emilio! Stay tuned!