When you're a 30-something straight dude who's already said pretty much everything he can say about The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, and a new trailer avails itself to the world on Friday afternoon, there's really only one rational way to approach it: Through the contemplative medium of poetry, seventeen syllables at a time.
· Edward I get, but
what is Joan Jett doing here?
No abs to be found.
· Shapeshifters versus
an army of vampires --
the CGI stink.
· Dakota Fanning,
please tell me you have more lines
than just, "Yes, it is."
· Can this film earn back
its huge contact-lens budget
opening weekend?
· Listen carefully!
You can hear the squeeeee from here.
VERDICT: Matters not.
[via Moviefone]