By now you've heard the feel good story of the week -- hey, it was a slow week -- that Harvey and Bob Weinstein are thisclose to buying back their beloved Miramax from Disney for the not-so-cheap price of $600 million. Disney has denied this, but were the sale to go through it would bring up at least one question: How the hell do the Weinstein Brothers -- the same Weinstein Brothers who barely had enough money to release Youth in Revolt into theaters -- plan to pay back their fellow investors (lead by billionaire financier Ron Burkle), who presumably footed a lot of this bill? One word: Remakes! Here now are the five films from the Miramax library that the Weinsteins should seriously consider revisiting.
1. Pulp Fiction
Really, a no-brainer. The movie that put Miramax and the Weinstein Brothers on the map could be the same one to get them out of massive financial debt. It's doubtful that Quentin Tarantino would do this again, but what about one of the two-dozen Tarantino rip-offs knocking around town. Find the dude who directed 2 Days in the Valley, cast Lindsay Lohan in the Uma Thurman role and, presto!
2. The Talented Mr. Ripley
At the height of their powers, the Weinsteins could make money off of anything. Even a slow-moving, art house thinker about a gay serial killer like The Talented Mr. Ripley found its way to $80 million. Matt Damon famously went against his type for the role and that worked out fine for everyone. Perhaps Robert Pattinson can be convinced this time around.
3. Scary Movie
Fun fact: Anna Faris is still young enough to star in this remake! Unfortunately, she's still not famous, except to the small cabal of film critics and bloggers who worship her skills and comedy genius. By the way, when is Private Benjamin coming out again?
4. Kids
At the time of its release, Kids was just another incendiary film from the Weinsteins. (In fact, Disney wouldn't release it unrated after the brothers acquired the film at Sundance, so they bought it back and put it out independently.) Today, though? It looks like an episode of Gossip Girl. Get Josh Schwartz to pen a remake, slap a couple of indie-rock songs on the soundtrack and watch the lines go around the block.
5. The English Patient
Two words: Michael Bay. Two other words: Action blockbuster.