Send in the clownish final challenge! Project Runway became annoyed with its restrained workroom dramas last night and defibrillated itself with 1,000 CCs of peanuts 'n P.T. Barnum 'n pettiness. Read: This episode is a triumph! After the jump, let's rip and romance the episode that may have been The Greatest Show On Earth for all of season seven.
After Mila pretends she's shocked to make it to the final five, Heidi introduces today's challenge with more "subtle" hints that have baffled archaeologists for centuries.
The Challenge
"Hallo," Heidi tweets. "Just one challenge left before Bryant Park, which is in a tent. Forgive me. Did I say tent? This is the beginning of a clue. You're going to be heading to a tent right now. But a different tent! It's not the same tent. But it is a tent. I want to establish that I was speaking of two different tents. In the second tent I mentioned, you might visit it when you want to see a... large spectacle... in a tent. A circus-like spectacle, if you will. Tim will now take you to a circus. Baaaaaaai."
Seth Aaron can't wait to finally visit the Empire State Building and is excited for the challenge. Once the quintet of remaining designers arrive at Ringling Brothers, we forget to gauge his disappointment as Tim points out the prompt: The designers must construct a high-end look inspired by the circus. After Tim steps aside, a visual feast emerges onstage as clowns, strong-men, acrobats, fire-eaters, those freaks on the gyro swings, and ringmasters emerge. Jay tells us he can't stop staring at the bare, beautiful torsos of strong-men. Oh, Jay. It's far too late to be the likable homosexual now. Please keep the Flying Wallenda in your trousers.
The Workroom
Emilio, who has won the last three challenges, knows the only circus-y crap he cares about is stripes and polka dots. Comin' right up. He's going to serve stripes and polka dots like Salisbury steak and tater tots, and you're going to eat it, like it, and keep it down during sixth-period Jazz Band. Mila -- who's constructed more than her share of striped Big Top blazers in her time -- wants to create an homage to larger-than-life ringmasters. So does Seth Aaron. So does Jay. Anthony gets vertigo from the seriously messed-up acrobat and uses her a muse.
When Tim comes roll-stepping in with words of vast gay disapproval, we all cheer. He's gained his nerve back!
"A top hat, Seth Aaron?" says Tim. "Shut up."
"Hmm, a stretchy violet fabric," Tim opines to Anthony. "Is the whole dress made out of this? I see. It is. Um. Don't do that, you idiot? Yes, that's it. Carry on."
"Jay!" Tim clamors. "You're the 'bad bitch,' eh? This jacket is looking a little costumey. The 'bad bitch' may just be Tina Knowles. I'm seeing shoulder pads and sparkles, Jay. The level of Solange in this room is starting to fester."
"Mila!" Tim calls. "You went with a coat. So did Seth Aaron. You know Seth Aaron can really make coats, right? I've seen it. I'll turn away, but I want to hear you hit yourself."
"Emilio..." Tim murmurs. "I'm deeply afraid of you. Maybe you can add some color to this flowy number? Fine, fine, don't. You don't have to call me 'Lady George Washington' again. I can't help that I approach mannequins like I'm crossing the Delaware, Emilio, and you know it. Fine, I'm crying, I'll leave."
As for the runway, we have Heidi, Michael, Nina, and the diplomatic Cynthia Rowley in tow. Check out every competing dress next.
Mila captured the essence of the circus while remaining true to her own aesthetic, meaning she used neon bolts of fabric and a wall of black and white stripes. Bitchin', right?! Right. Another colorblocked frightfest from Smirk du Solieil. It's tailored, sure, but it's also difficult to look at, with each line sharper than a Louise Brooks haircut. We'll assume that's a loving tribute to herself Maya.
Jay
Straight up, now tell me -- do you really want to rouse MC Skat Kat from his 20-year coma with this bandleader jacket, Jay? I worship at the medicine cabinet tabernacle of Paula Abdul too, but God -- this garish ensemble is giving me a case of the Cold-Hearted Snakes. Nice try with that Michael Jackson comparison, Anthony and Mila, but the baggy leggings Jay paired with that blazer are pure vibeology.
Emilio pretends that Tim Gunn doesn't understand him, or his insight, or his stank frowns. They never do, Emilio. But the conductor-hatted misanthrope ended up doing exactly as Tim suggested by adding streams of color (specifically, primary red) to the bust. And voila -- Michael Kors called it his favorite dress of the season. I can't argue with that, but I can say the effect of this dress is stifled thanks to Jay's stellar hardware store look from a couple months ago. But delicious nonetheless. I'm wearing it to my next pageant for demure harlequins.
Anthony
That lying liar who climbed Lie Mountain and spun a lying tapestry for us was unfortunately the clear loozah this round. Even Michael and Heidi sprang from their insured asses to grope the skin of this dress, a polyester blend in creme de chine with a plunging neckline that tried traveling all the way to actual Chine. It's just not theatrical enough for this challenge. It looks more like what a party guest in the opening credits of PBS' Mystery! wears. And that's laudable in many ways -- all of them Kors-unaffiliated.
Seth Aaron's favorite part of the circus has long been the Hamburglar, and he went that direction. Seriously, every outfit of Seth Aaron's is a ringmaster costume, so he probably felt it was compulsory to amp this beyond any sane circus evocation. That said, he really just went to McDonald's. It's the Hamburglar standing in a magnificent Ronald McDonald shoe that can double as pants. Runaway Chicken McNugget Michael Kors was right to be offended.
So who's venturing to the Final Three? Emilio, life's big winner, wins the challenge and is accepted first. Heidi calls in Seth Aaron next, and he's giddy like a little kid -- one who looks like Lou Reed. As for Anthony, Heidi tosses him back to Tuscaloosa Heights, Tennessee, or wherever his bio says. We'll speak with Little Lord LiarsLies during our new interview with him today, but wait -- Mila and Jay are left on the runway. Instead of kicking off one of the two and making it a suspenseful moment, Heidi opts to keep both and force them to complete one last challenge before fashion week. Yep, it's the season four treatment -- Mila and Jay will both make collections for Bryant Park, but only one will be judged alongside Emilio and Seth Aaron for the big victory.
So, dear readers, who will it be? Will Mila outclass Jay with monochrome? Or will Jay zap Mila with succulent separates? For a preview of their collections, click here. For a Fruit Roll-Up of joy to tide you over until next week, enjoy our interview with Anthony in a few hours. And for a real circus, note the acrobatics of Mila's pupils every time Emilio speaks.