After rampant speculation about whether his salary demands may spell the end of Two and a Half Men, Charlie Sheen has released a statement saying that "all of the numbers reported in the press are false." The headline-plagued star added, "If tonight's show is the end for me as Charlie Harper, so be it...I take from the experience 161 shows filled with a kaleidoscope of amazing experiences, memories, friendships and gratitude." Meanwhile, unconfirmed sources are telling us that Angus T. Jones' publicist is drafting a statement to the effect of "For the love of God, I need this show. I am unemployable." [PopEater]