Nobody wants to see a couple busted up, and nobody but the other man/woman rejoices if/when it does. With that in mind, it's hard to know what the Hollywood media establishment thinks it will get out of asking celebrities for deep, profound and/or revelatory insights about the break-up process beyond, of course, "Well, that sucks." And, "I wish them only the best." The ongoing Sandra Bullock/Jesse James imbroglio (now upgraded to "separated," according to those definitive arbiters of marital status at IMDB) hasn't proven to break the cycle, but only accelerate it furiously from zero to LOL in seconds flat. After the jump, find the five least essential messages of support for Sandy (with helpful translations from PR-ese) in a time when, really, she'd probably just rather her friends -- from Betty White to Mo'Nique -- just please let it die already.
5. "I'm very surprised, especially because I know Sandra and how nice she is. She's such a great person. And what surprises me more is he always gave me the impression he was totally in love with her. It doesn't change my image of him, but I thought he respected Sandra and loved her. [...] Jesse did something very foolish -- obviously. I think it's very unfortunate. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors? But I can say this -- Sandra is a high-quality person and I respect her tremendously." -- Donald Trump
TRANSLATION: You know, maybe Sandy was a total shrew when the cameras were off and no one was looking. Who knows? I mean, I did 15 years with Ivana. You have no idea sometimes. But yeah, Sandy. Sweet girl. I'm just saying.
4. "Yes, of course, I mean for everyone." -- Keanu Reeves, asked if he had any well-wishes for Bullock.
TRANSLATION: What about Jesse? Oh, wait.
3. "I think that's Sandy's business; that's not mine. I love her with all my heart. [She's] one of the greatest human beings on the planet. [...] We're all deeply, deeply saddened. At such a high-point in her life, it's tough, but I think the less other people have to say about it and let her work it out, it is [for] the better." -- Betty White
TRANSLATION: I'm going to take the high road, if you don't mind. Oh, by the way, it totally sucks and is unfair. But no comment.
2. "To my sweet sister Sandra, my prayers are with you. My prayers are also with your husband, baby. That is between the two of you and I hope y'all make it work. [...] It's hard but that's their business. Let them go through their situation. I don't wish her nothing but happiness, along with her husband. ... I don't want to see any marriages dissolve or break up. [...] Sandra, if you need me, sugar, call me, baby..." -- Mo'Nique
TRANSLATION: But I like it now.
1. "He needs his dick cut off." -- Sharon Osbourne, on Jesse James
TRANSLATION: [None available]