During last night's Idol, Ryan Seacrest asked four more contestants to pack their knife-like vocals and go. While none of the castoffs seemed like contenders for the crown, they offered all-American showmanship and -- as first piano teachers everywhere call it -- pizzazz! We mourn the four lost souls after the jump.
Haeley Vaughn
I Will Miss Most: Your smile. It made the deranged tabby-cat vocals turn into sophisticated jaguar sighs.
What Could've Been: More "youthful" songs in the vein of "I Want to Hold Your Hand" and "The Climb." Perhaps "I Think We're Alone Now" during Mall Performer Week, and "Rubber Duckie" during Bathtub Shenanigans Week.
Eulogy: Though Simon described you as a "wind-up doll," your guitar skills and stage presence solidified you as an edgy Bratz figurine. Keep that up, I think.
John Park
I Will Miss Most: Your Anne Murray vocals. Your Ann Curry haircut.
What Could've Been: More downstairs-at-the-Days-Inn renditions that don't belong on Idol, like "God Bless the Child." We'll never get your ironically mumbled version of "I Got Rhythm."
Eulogy: You seemed like a viable candidate during the auditions, when Shania Twain complimented your "bottom end." Your upper end was a pitchy maelstrom, but hey! Your picture remains a candlelit fixture in her Moving On From Mutt hope chest.
Michelle Delamor
I Will Miss Most: Your Top 24 victory dance. Whitney-meets-Leona-meets-the-unbearable-ecstasy-of-fame!
What Could've Been: More attempts at early 2000s rock songs like "With Arms Wide Open." I've always wanted to see System of a Down's "Chop Suey!" done up like a Corinne Bailey Rae b-side. You were going to weave that miracle.
Eulogy: You had the talent, girl. Unfortunately Kara "I Know Things, You Guys" DioGuardi ruined your moment by declaring your recent performance underwhelming, while Simon implied it was dreadful. Whatever. Bollocks to them. They like Katie Stevens, you know what I mean?
Jermaine Sellers
I Will Miss Most: Almost nothing! I can respect your attempt to make "I rocks the onesie" a catchphrase, especially if I don't think about it. Unfortunately, your screentime has been spent ruining Marvin Gaye and caterwauling to your fair-weather friend Jesus.
What Could've Been: More R&B/soul classics treated with that subtle touch of feral monster. Your version of "Superstition," complete with screaming and a onesie made of rabbits' feet, would've wooed the nation onto their roofs! And then off of them. But closer to God, arguably.
Eulogy: I believe you can be taught to sing that way. People who believe ghosts are chasing them sing that way all the time.