There's something about Chelsea Handler that brings out the creepy old man in Jay Leno. During one of the only memorable episodes of the Jay Leno Show, the host led Handler onto a vibrating bed where the pair shared an intimate book read. Last night, Leno upped the sleaze ante by taking her on a Bachelor-worthy date and inviting her to be a member of the mile-high club. Click through for that clip, as well as the other highlights you missed last night while exhaustively bidding on that Danny Zuko-inspired Alec Baldwin portrait.
5. Precious Shore
Finally, the most-eagerly awaited of the Lopez Tonight-Jersey Shore Oscar-nominee reenactments: Precious. Last night, George dedicated two guid-homages to the Lee Daniels picture. The first managed to combine Mariah Carey's role as a welfare-worker, Snooki, margaritas and a punch to the face. In the second, Lopez paired Mo'Nique with Sammi for the sorriest of the skits so far.
4. Evaluating Leno-Palin vs. Letterman-Romney
Jon Stewart discussed the absurdity of Sarah Palin's stand-up debut on the Tonight Show this week and explained why Mitt Romney is the Gore to her Bush.
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3. Brooklyn's Finest Murder
During Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night, Ethan Hawke described the crime he happened to witness while shooting Brooklyn's Finest and the Training Day auto-theft that earned his respect.
2. Jerry Seinfeld on Child-Rearing
The Marriage Ref creator continued his promotional schlep on the Late Show last night, where he and David Letterman discussed their kids' comedic instincts.
1. Don't Get On a Helicopter With Jay Leno
Because he will hover over you uncomfortably, sexually harass you and then make jokes about how you'll have to earn your way out of the vehicle. At least that's what he did with Chelsea Handler last night, who conceded that even her friends think that the Tonight Show host flirts with her. Hey, at least last night's show didn't involve a vibrating bed.