God bless Julia Roberts. Sometime during the past year, the A-lister decided to start just stone-cold saying whatever popped into her head at that moment (no matter how crazy, aggressive, or lunatic it might seem to others), and in an age of buttoned-down actors, we kind of love her for it. Sure, there were signs before that whatever internal filter Roberts possessed was being eroded, like when she did that weird "Aloe Vera" thing on her t-shirt, or when she somehow won and accepted Denzel Washington's Oscar. Still, we think you'll agree that over the last year, Roberts has brought her uncensored A-game. Here are some of her best moments:
From the Transcript of the Valentine's Day Press Conference, January 29 in Beverly Hills
Q: My boyfriend says I'm a bad planner, so how can I get him to make me happy on "Valentine's Day"?
Julia Roberts: Wow, wow. This is, yeah. Can we at least dim the lights? Okay, wait a minute. Are you asking me how to cook something? Or... Ah, yeah, well, hmm. Let's break it down. How long have you been with your boyfriend? Two years. And you have sex with him...You know what? Make a nice dinner reservation now because that's the biggest night out of the year, says the former hostess at Simon's Seafood Bar and Grill. Make a nice dinner reservation and have a nice glass of wine and then go home and, you know, take your top off. I think that's a recipe for success, wouldn't you say, Bradley Cooper?
At the Same Press Conference, as Recounted In the Article "Shirley Maclaine Asks Valentine's Day Ladies How They Stay Slim"
After a brief bit of silence, Julia Roberts reportedly spoke first, turning the attention on some of her younger co-stars.
"You girls are slim," Julia said.
Eventually, Jennifer Garner reportedly also spoke up.
"I'm nursing," the mom of two said. "As soon as I'm done I'll puff right back up."
"I'll stay tuned for that," Julia responded.
Selected Highlights from Access Hollywood's Red Carpet Interview with Julia Roberts at the Golden Globes
JULIA ROBERTS: "NBC, you guys are in the toilet right now."
BILLY BUSH: (shocked) "Julia Roberts, we are live on the air!"
JULIA ROBERTS: "I'm not saying 'in the toilet.' I'm saying there's problems."
....
BILLY BUSH: "Julia, you're nominated tonight."
JULIA ROBERTS: "I am?"
BILLY BUSH: "You passed on The Blind Side, didn't you?"
JULIA ROBERTS: "I did? I did. I mean, I say it like that because I did. You gotta stick with that. I did."
....
BILLY BUSH: "Natalie, take it away."
JULIA ROBERTS: "Who's Natalie?"
Selected Highlights from the Tribute to Tom Hanks at the Film Society of Lincoln Center in NYC in April 2009
On Hanks himself: "I have to pee. Everybody f---ing likes you. I had lunch today with [wife] Rita and her tits were here and her waist was here and her ass was like that. So, what can I tell you that is new? Tom Hanks, what the f--k?"
On The Ladykillers: "I love the Coen brothers, but the hair, Tom, I didn't even know what the f--k that movie was about."
On The Terminal: "You in the airport with the accent? It was a pass for me. Airport? Were you just an immigrant lost? I didn't know. I love you, and I didn't know what to do, really."
On her wardrobe: "I'm wearing the same f---ing dress tonight as your publicist."
On looking into the crowd: "It's so dark out there, I feel like I'm in space. Whoever is doing the lights...J.J. Abrams, are you here?"
Outtake from Julia Roberts and Clive Owen's Entertainment Weekly photoshoot:
Selected Highlights from Access Hollywood's Interview with Julia Roberts and Bradley Cooper
MARIA MENOUNOS: "So, I didn't know [you two] had worked together before this--"
JULIA ROBERTS: (interrupting, rolling eyes) "Oh, come on."
MARIA MENOUNOS: "--on Broadway."
JULIA ROBERTS: "Should you really admit that to us at this time?"
....
JULIA ROBERTS: "I think when you have a small penis, you shouldn't be cruel to others."
....
JULIA ROBERTS: (after an extended conversation between Menounos and Cooper) "Just keep it between the two of you. Whatever you're talking about."
....
MARIA MENOUNOS: "At the Golden Globes, I heard you went up to the cast of Glee and you know the creator and you were like, 'I wanna do the show!' Do you really want to do the show?"
JULIA ROBERTS: "No. I was just sucking up because I thought that they might win, and they did, so I made the right decision."
Passages from New York's article "Julia Roberts Runs Amok at Celebrity Charades Game," written 12/08/09:
We're not sure exactly when last night's annual Celebrity Charades benefit for LAByrinth Theater Company, sponsored by Entertainment Weekly and Duracell, devolved into complete chaos, but we'd say it was inevitable from the moment Julia Roberts took the stage.
Roberts eventually got both bidders to pony up $13,500 each (for two slots) by using the following exhortations: "All right, people, let's have order! I only have THREE kids!"; "My pants are SO tight, come on! I wore these tight pants just for you"; "Handsome guy is on my team. Someone rich and not so smart on the other team"; and "Why don't you want to give us more money? I am so CUTE!"
As a player, Roberts was equally distracting to her own team. Screaming out "Vagina!" at random, or becoming fixated on certain wrong answers. "M.A.S.H.! M.A.S.H.! M.A.S.H.!" she screamed out as her teammate tried to act out Damages. Another favorite of Roberts's? "Driving Miss Daisy! Driving Miss Daisy!" which seemed to be the answer for every other clue she couldn't get. When Roberts's team lost "because we're just a bunch of drunk guys," and she ran out of time acting out In the Heat of the Night, she grabbed the mike from Bogosian and demanded, "a teeny, tiny, little more time ... I bought a ticket for Talk Radio, back off!"
During the second half of the live auction before the charades finale, Roberts once again stole the mike to goad the audience into spending way too much for a dinner for six at Rao's, explaining to the crowd she was up past her bedtime. "I go to bed, truly, at 8:17. What time is it? 9:17? Oh, let's have fun!" she continued. There was a lot of running back and forth across the stage, and somehow she eventually started calling one side of the room "Manhattan," and other side "New Jersey," as in "Come on, New Jersey, you have five seconds to not be shit over here!"
But, it seems winning wasn't really foremost on Roberts's mind. Even as her team shuffled off in defeat, she grabbed the mike for old time's sake, and waxed poetic about the final clue. "The other day I put on a fuchsia dress, and my son said, 'Mommy, you look just like a High School Musical girl. Now, isn't that worth some money?"