Movieline

Captain Fonzarelli's Mandolin

The technicians at Nic Cage As Everyone figured out that "everything in life would be better with a little more Nic Cage, the most unique and versatile actor of his generation." Nicolas really brings that "worried milquetoast uncle" flair we've needed in pop culture for years. If you like his portrayal of Fonzie, wait 'til you see the sly, confused touch he brings to Don Draper.

· Yeah, Warren Beatty slept with 12,775 women, but to Genghis Khan, he's an amateur.

· I guess you can't attack your wife and remain a reliable underwear salesman anymore. The law gets its Hanes on you.

· Think you're a Star Wars fan? I bet your collection of Jek Porkins memorabilia leaves much to be desired.

· You can now relive your favorite Transformers moment: the imaginary one where Shia LaBoeuf has a hankering for pralines.

· Sylvester Stallone revealed he broke his neck while filming a movie recently. He's OK! Survivor's Greatest Hits plays on.

· Which is cooler: Lost or Mark Twain? However you feel, tell Disney, and fast.

· Sometimes even David Letterman makes the wrong joke. Don't worry, Sarah Palin's not hiding behind this link.

· I almost forgot about Dee Dee Sharp's novelty ode to masturbation, "The Self-Potato." Thanks, Pat and Vanna!