If you weren't one of the 11.8 million that tuned into ABC last night for Oprah Winfrey's private tour of the White House and its Christmas (whatever happened to political correctness?) traditions, fear not. Movieline has filtered out the commercial interruptions and the few minutes worth of actual policy discussion to give you the SFW video highlights. What was promoted as a behind-the-scenes special was really behind-the-scenes, not just of the capital but of Oprah's intimate relationship with the Obamas. There was hand-holding, all-too-knowing sideways glances and a solid minute's worth of baby talk with Bo. Thankfully, Oprah spared us of any questions relating to Michelle's tricep regime. After the jump, last night's emotional highs and lows, as well as the odd glimpse into actual White House tradition.
HIGH: Oprah Watches On Adoringly As the President Shows Off His Family Photos
After charging the oval office and sharing a few prolonged hugs with the President, Our Lady Oprah moved the conversation to his collection of personal photographs. Oprah did not resist picking up the photos, dusting the President's gray hair and asking him to explain each picture.
HIGH: Obama Recounts His Most Memorable White House Moment
When asked for the most impressive moment he's had in the Oval Office, the President segued into a story about ordinary Americans visiting the White House. After already mentioning the letters he personally writes to the parents of soldiers killed in the line of fire, the President recalled one particular couple who wrote back, visited the capital in polo shirts and hitched a ride on Air Force One to Camp Lejeune.
LOW: Oprah Gets an Apple From the President
After producers directed Oprah to please stop staring so adoringly at the president, Oprah noticed a bowl of apples kept in the Oval Office (a replacement for last term's jelly beans and M&Ms). The president led Oprah by hand to the bowl of fruit and gifted her an apple.
LOW: Oprah High Fives First Dog, Bo
After the First Lady and Oprah viewed the holiday photos of former administrations in the East Colonnade, the conversation ground to a halt when the ladies saw Bo. From discussing President Kennedy to marveling over Bo's festive jingle bell collar, the conversation flowed effortlessly. Both women asked Bo to sit, Oprah decided that she would give her dogs jingle bell collars and then the moment climaxed when Bo offered the first lady of broadcast a high five. Keep watching to see the ladies embrace when discussing a future playmate for Bo.
NEUTRAL: The White House Gingerbread House
After the excitement of Bo's jingle bells faded away, the ladies explored the State Dining Room, which holds an actual white chocolate-covered gingerbread replica of the house. The house took six weeks to build and weighs just under 400 lbs. This year's house includes the First Lady's vegetable garden and a miniature version of "that handsome Bo." Sadly, Oprah did not get to sample the dessert, downgrading this moment from an emotional high to a neutral.
LOW: The First Lady and Oprah Discuss Decoupaging Ornaments
During the only truly interactive moment of the special, the First Lady brought Oprah's attention to the ornaments decorating the White House Christmas trees. The ornaments from past administrations were sent out to non-profit organizations around the country for normal people to decorate in the theme of landmarks. Oprah suggested that everyone can get in on this kind of homemade ornament fun with a little decoupage. Zzzz. Oprah of course segued the conversation into whether Bo has a Christmas stocking before the ladies shared another embrace.
HIGH: Bike Rides, the Gap, Raggety Jeans...These Are a Few of the Obamas' Favorite Things
When pressed to cite things the first couple miss from their pre-White House days, the Obamas wasted no time rattling off a list of things they could no longer do or see or drink but were quick to conclude their answer with the "of course we love it here" statement.
After a few more questions about whether or not Santa is coming to the White House (he is) and whether the president's children are enjoying their time in D.C. (they are), the special concluded with an anticlimactic thud, and I imagine, a heartfelt group hug with Bo, after the cameras shut off.