It began with "Time For Miracles," the song sung by Adam Lambert that accompanies you as you exit 2012, pondering the true meaning of overcoming incontinence that director Roland Emmerich leaves us with after nearly three hours of skull-fracturing digital destruction. And with today's news that Leona Lewis, another reality TV singing sensation, will be recording a song for the Avatar soundtrack, it's all but official: the closing credits power ballad is back, and in a big way.
Let us sing its praises, then, with a tribute, as Movieline predicts the next five songs to follow the trend, and the artists who'll sing them.
1. The Lovely Bones
Artist: Lady Gaga
Song Title: "Are You There God? It's Me, Gaga"
Sample Lyric:
"Bones bones bones
My famous bones
Dressed up so lovely
Feel it, la la la, ha ha ha, rape rape rape bones..."
Analysis: Music video features lots of clips, interspersed with Gaga walking through a conceptual "slaughterhouse discotheque" in Christian Dior Couture Spring/Summer 2014 collection.
2. Sherlock Holmes
Artist: Kris Allen
Song Title: "It's Elementary (I Love You): Love Theme from Sherlock Holmes"
Sample Lyric:
"Not much of a mystery
The clues were all there
The smile on her face
And the smell of her hair
It's elementary, girl -- I love you..."
Analysis: The kind of radio-friendly love song Jude Law could get you pregnant to.
3. The Wolfman
Artist: Susan Boyle
Song Title: "The Beast and the Worst of You"
Sample Lyric:
"The moon's aglow
On a moor white with snow
You savaged the flock
Like you savaged my aching heart..."
Analysis: Except for a few shots of the Scottish sensation's face digitally superimposed over a full moon, this video will rely almost entirely on scenes from the film advancing the love story between Benicio del Toro and Emily Blunt. A wasted opportunity, really.
4. Clash of the Titans
Artist: Rihanna
Song Title: "Broken Mythology"
Sample Lyric:
"You act like a hero
Up there on your cloud
Throwing down lightin'
And shoutin' so loud
Well look all around
It's all in pieces, our broken mythology
Brought us tum-beh-lin' down..."
Analysis: Still has some shit to work out that wasn't covered on 2009's Rated R.
5. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Artist: Carrie Underwood
Song Title: "Allah Take the Camel"
Sample Lyric:
"She was haulin' hump last Friday
On her way to ul-Azaria
On a sandy tan Laylat al-Qadr..."
Analysis: Might ultimately backfire with her core fanbase.